I have learned to call this my home.
Follow me into the endless:

Adrift between two worlds,
the life I want and the life I live, inside neither,
torn from trying to hang on to both,
bleeding from want, sick from contempt.

Love has never been an emotion to me.
From all I've seen it's a product
with a list of rules and conditions
purchased by the decadent,
used as a temporary killer of time
that lasts as long as pleasure is new,
constantly changing faces
while keeping it's person the same.

The pattern forms within us
usually at a young age,
an inheritance of apathy
if planted in fertile ground,
it grows until it consumes us
and we get caught in it's cycle;

Always looking outside ourselves
for the answers contained within,
until we lose all faith
in who we are.

A life of wandering
from one to the next,
another sunrise of light
taken away by the oncoming night,
So many faces
all chasing distractions
never wanting to stay.

I feel as though I've been
branded amongst the cattle
gathered in the herd,
contained within the fences
on the auction block,
till its my turn to be bought
by the highest bidder.

Each with ticket in hand
waiting for their turn.
The look of disenchantment in their eyes,
hope in their hearts,
all in search of buying something real
in the market of illusion.

I never know if their need
will be milking me of my passion
to fill their glass of insecurity,
or waiting to be slaughtered
so they can feed on my desire for love,
only to replenish their resilience to it.

Either way I have fought in vain,
for I am a victim to the pattern as well.
The album has skipped
for so long on this turntable,
the rest of the song
doesn't exist anymore,
even if it did
who would want to listen?

Living out of habit,
smiling, a programmed response.
I'm only capable of feeling
when the blade begins to dull,
only able to dream
when the pills wear off.

From the woman who bore me
and decided I wasn't part of her plan,
to the ones who claim to love me
motivated by fear of loneliness,
this pattern has no end.

So if you happen to be
the most recent piece of skin
rubbing against me,
know that I have met you
a thousand times before,
and I'm not impressed.

If I were to reveal my true self to you,
you would then scrape
the undesirable remnants of me
off your plate to feed on another,
continuing your search for the everlasting
perfect meal in your mother's cookbook.

Your half hearted attempts
to remove this mask,
are only to satisfy your mundane curiosity.

There is a core within me,
and you haven't got the capacity
to find your way through the labyrinth
that guards this soul.

The bottom line is simple,
I am right here, waiting for you.
Show me you're different,
have something real inside yourself,
believe in your worth
and fight for what you want.
I won't let you down.