The First Hour of Life

The newness of life, the waking of eyes
the first rays of sunshine felt, the first breath ever tasted
The awareness of beauty, the dawning of time
the first kiss embraced was mother's lips
Oh divine are the blessings of God
secure in the arms of comfort, the heart races
your own flesh, your own blood in your hands
the options to choose her name, but first a tear
a tear of joy wiped from an elated mother's eyes
the first brought into this world, but it wouldn't be the last
twenty eight years waiting, now the moment has occured
this had to be the best day of your life
The first few months were tough, but we survived
now that lil' girl is seven years old and you are thirty five
always wanting a family, a family of your very own
your dream came true, the fairytale happy ending
though life has it's paths, courses of obstacles to bear
life sometimes is a tightrope high up in the air
the weight of the world crashes down, it crashes hard
the heaviness of your heart, still held alot of pain
yesterday's memories were tugging on your brain
but you persevered, you found the path of hope
your heartalways in the right place, devoted to the Lord
I want to say I'm sorry for those years, those years I wish i had back
They went so fast, the days they flew
Who knew that eight years could seem so short
God I'm thankful you pulled me through
I got past those first hours, those first days
then weeks went by and months followed
The years started to come and they came so fast
the days appear as dreams now, memories collapse
the good and the bad they clashed
like a dueler's sword all I saw was the iron and sunlight eclipse in a flash
As they grew , so did I. I grew with love in my heart
I prayed that as a parent I'd try
try to always be there , when others asked why
I wouldn't question, I would just walk by and shrug my shoulders
I wanted to lay out and cry. Oh God thank you for these blessings.
Maturely I wasn't ready as a manto bear the responsibilities
As a father did I hold the capabilities, the daddy qualities
that made a man more than a man but one who looked at his children
and never struck a hand. All I had to do was stare into my children's eyes and my heart would melt, sometimes it felt as if my heart would burst
As a father though i never wanted to run, to run away from the blessings and dreams I created. Why so many men can't hold up or face the pressures of parenthood. If only they understood,  just one look into that child's eyes could change them forever. Why can't they take that risk, to embrace their own flesh and blood.
It's  time to man up and taste test the world
Look with the eyes of a father, don't dwell upon yourself
Know that you are important to someone , know that you can make a
difference in that child's life. Maybe you chose not to make that girl your wife, but now as a man , step up and look into your heart.
Can you feel the pulse of that child beating along side with yours
can you see the reflection of your smile, or remeber the days when you had tiny hands. Your limbs were so small, so powerless and still you tired hard
You pushed like you were climbing a mountain, like you were sailing the ocean, fighting the crashing waves. The pool of tears I still remeber as if yesterday was only minutes passed.
Yesterday has now become years, and you've grown. I can see myself in you. Oh, daughter the dreams have only started. The new dreams are waiting to be embraced. I hold those tears , those tears that I could never cry. Still you looked into my eyes and knew. You knew that I wanted too.
I wnated to wet these cheeks with my emotions, with tears of anguish and tears of joy. The years will continue to come, and come they will
so fast like a one time thrill. It's like a theme park ride by the oceanside
I walk along the ground and watch you pass by
The tears start to build, I can't control them anymore.
Down, down they fall, soiling these cheeks
Is the innocence of beauty lost? Could I please have back these years.
These years that I don't remember.Can you describe these memories to me
I wish never to forget, never to forget how hard it was to hold those tears
I use to watch those tears drop into an empty beer bottle
running down the side as It slid to the bottom
Some nights I watched those tears drip to the floor
and as I tried to catch them the room began to spin
crashing down, down, down into the dreaming world
into the comatose world drifting on those tears
I was left swimming in an ocean of uncertainity
but still I saw the dreams of a child awake
closer and closer to hitting life's end, I begged to breath once more
how could a father leave behind his children he loved
without saying a single goodbye
Spinning like a dizzy top in motion
the impact of life was like a bug on a windshield
as the spinning stopped , so did I and I wished to be free
free in the meadows with the birds and bees dancing
singing tunes and whispering in the breeze
Alone with the world , but not only myself
God was guiding my hand as I ran like the wind
ran to escape the dark pain and destruction
I dropped to my knees and I prayed as I crossed the bridge
I stared down into the waters below seeing my reflection
I grabbed a stone and tossed it into the air
watched as it hit the water and the rippling effects began
sinking down , down to it's depths to settle with the mud
I began to see my daughter's face in my reflection
I then thought hard and began to question
Why did I face these trials in my life?
I knew that God was in everything that I did
and all the blessings he created and this life I live
A new journey was bound to take course
a new obstacle to endure , a new task to conquer
I was in control of my life, with God at my side prevailing