You want to know how I am; you hope that I'm okay.
I tell you that I am fine cause that's all I can think to say.
I listen to you talk about how he makes you feel,
but all I really want to do is find a way to deal 
with the pain and frustration that I tell you isn't there.
If only it were so easy to drop this cross I bear.

I know I tell you I'm glad that you are happy now,
but a part of me is raging cause it's just a fucking show
to make you feel better about how things have become.
If only you could realize that no one is that dumb
to just step aside and watch the one I love walk away.
 I sit here and reside myself that there's nothing else to say.

Your voice still gives me peace whenever we talk
and I thank God for the odd chance that I get to walk
with you or share some stolen stitch in time;
then I smile and say goodbye as to not commit the crime 
of pushing our boundaries and crossing the line
where our passions enflame and lust becomes paradigm.

I am doing the best to carry on and let my heart mend,
but it's not as easy as it was when in youth I could bend
and let the pain slide off my back like water off down.
Being an adult doesn't mean your emotionally grown
and able to leave a love behind that means as much as life
without suffering from the hell that leaves a heart with strife.

Your beauty haunts my sleeping mind; I see you in my dreams
as well as my waking thoughts. I'm still in love, it seems.
My heart is yours and ever shall be as long as I'm alive
and I will always be a friend for you, always here to strive
and do what I can to make sure that you are fine.
I have to make myself believe you will never be mine.

I love you now and always will; I know not how to stop.
Yet, I can't keep going on like this or I will drop
and never regain the ability to live without you here.
That's one thing I won't do again as I came much to near
to giving in and calling it a day the last time our love died.
So, I love you, baby, and your memory will in my mind reside.










B. Heath Harris/(c) 11.21.11