Christmas morn,

Yuletide cheer,

Stockings hung neatly on the mantle;

I with my snowboots firmly worn,

Wrapped snuggly in full winter gear,

Presents plentiful with breakfast great,

Santa really is such a saint;

Except he brought the snow,

On Jesus’s birthday,

You know Jesus was born in the desert,

He lived there all his life,

Not once did it hale on his birthday,

There wasn’t snowman in sight;

He was welcomed in a nice warm climate,

Why am I holding a shovel?Why?

Bells are ringing Christmas cheer,

The people at church are waiting,

We’ll get there today sometime,

If I don’t die of exhaustion ;

The tunes of white and frosty Christmas,

Frosty that bastard actually showed,

So stop singing the songs and praying for flakes,

And let’s celebrate Christmas like Jesus!