Welcome to the Last Day of the Rest of My Life

This is my world, welcome to it all.
You can take it when you step inside my door.
I have a a big knife, but it's no good.
The tension is so thick, I can't cut it anymore.

Welcome to the last day of the rest of my life.
A baby monitor watches my every move for all to see.
You can change the channel anytime you want.
But I'm the only thing you can watch on my TV.

I want to strip off this part of my life.
Like shedding off my clothes after a hard day.
This is too much work without all the benefits.
It's like working a thankless job without a pay day.

Welcome to the last day of the rest of my life.
I'm about to change like a chameleon and go undercover.
Looking for Mrs Goodbar and a few cold beers.
I need a bunch of new friends and maybe a secret lover.

I'm ready to ride boldly ride on the horse I rode in on.
I tried to call Elvis at the Heartbreak Hotel.
I asked if he was still in the building.
They told me to eat another jelly donut and go straight to hell.

Welcome to the last day of the rest of my life.
What I can't change, I'll just have to replace.
If I never give it the old college try, I'll never graduate.
It may be the same me underneath, but it will be a brave new face.