WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER, MY GIRLFRIEND SAID
SHE WOULD DIE FOR ME.
NOW THAT WE HAVE BROKEN UP,
 I THINK SHE SHOULD KEEP HER PROMISE, MOST DEFINATELY.
 
BUT IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL...

ONE TIME SHE CALLED ME, AND SAID
COME ON OVER.
NOBODY'S HOME.
I DID COME OVER, AND SHE WAS RIGHT.
NO BODY WAS HOME.

BUT IT'S ALL FORGOTTEN...

I ONCE TOLD HER SHE WAS A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN.
SHE TOLD ME I REMINDED HER OF HER PET MOUSE.
I ONCE TOLD HER I NEEDED MORE SPACE,
SO SHE LOCKED ME OUT OF THE HOUSE.

BUT THAT'S  WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE...

WHEN WERE TOGETHER, WE HAD A LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP.
I LOVED HER, AND SHE HATED ME.
I ASKED HER TO PICK 1 PROBLEM ABOUT ME,
SHE SAID SHE COULDN'T DECIDE BETWEEN ABOUT TWENTY THREE.

BUT WHAT'S DONE IS DONE...

AFTER A ANNIVERSARY DINNER, I TRIED TO KISS HER,
BUT SHE SAID SHE WASN'T QUITE IN THE MOOD.
ONCE WHEN I SAID SHE NEEDED TO WATCH HER WEIGHT,
SHE SAID SHE WASN'T FAT,
SHE WAS RETAINING FOOD.

BUT I DIGRESS...

ONE DAY SHE WAS WATCHING TV, AND I SAID I'M SO HUNGRY I COULD EAT A COW.
SHE SAID, I GUESS I'LL JUST DROP EVERYTHING AND WORK ON YOUR PROBLEMS NOW.

BUT SHE'S HISTORY ...

I 'M JUST GETTING OVER MY NEWEST EX GIRLFRIEND. SHE WAS PSYCHIC AND BROKE UP WITH ME BEFORE WE MET.