Screams Within the Silence

I sit down and try to write
Try to express
Try to relieve the stress

But it's silent
But it's loud

I can hear too much
In the the silence

I can remember you laugh
And the way that you talked
I can remember the noise you'd make
When I would poke you nose

I can still hear you whisper, "I love you"
As we lay in the dark

I shut off the light
It's too loud to write
I lay alone in the dark

But I can see too much
In this absence of light

I can remember your smile
And the way you lit up
I can remember your eyes
The only green that would brighten my day

I can still see you mouth the words, "I love you"
As we are too far apart

I let go of my feelings
Its too bright for sleep
I dye a little as the numbness comes

But I can feel too much
Even as I'm drowning in my morphine

I can still remember the way your lips felt
Laying softly upon mine
The way your body felt
Breathing softly next to mine
The way your hands felt
Squeezing mine

I can still feel the joy when you said, "I love you"
As our hearts begin to flutter again

You bring too much happiness
For me to block you out

You bring too much beauty
For me to blind you out

You bring too much feelings
Too many memories
Where I was finally happy
For me to numb you out

That's why I'm still here
I'm still writing for you
Trying to sleep but finding

That the silence is too loud
That the darkness is too bright
That the numbness fades quicker than before

You are the cause for my insanities
You are the cause for my happiness
You are the cause that I fight for
You are the cause that I'd die for

I love you
You love me
I love you
You hate me

Please tell me that this is not how this poem ends...