To My Father
They say all wounds heal with timeAnd yet I still feel you left me behind
to wander aimlessly with all these questions
My pain is like a never ending infections
Honestly I don't remember what you look like
I'm so sad I want to take flight
I know you tried your best as a father
My pain I never bother
Shoving it down and living a lie
I never really did get to say goodbye
My son can never see his grandfather
Tearing me from the deepest point of my soul
My depression, I guess is my tole
Sitting and suffering with empty answers
Remembering sitting with you and watching topless dancers
It's things like that I really miss
My life will never be complete bliss
Forever there will be a dark could above
My feelings I constantly shove
To a place hidden from all the people around
Yet I know in the end you will be found
In the gates of heaven ever looking over
For I will never find my four leaf clover
My father for now you've finally left my mind
Your death and my depression I cannot combine
I'm not saying goodbye but farewell
Because my pain brings me hell
The images of your bettered body always there
I never said it, but I truly cared
There are days where I want to throw it all away
To walk and drown myself in a bay
You have and always will be an influence to me
Watch over your grandson I plea
I feel you all around me and what I do
Some people say I haven't a clue
It's just to ****ing hard year by year
My son not knowing me is my only fear
I sit and ponder about if I would have come down
For that I wear this heavy, thorny, crown
Putting all the blame upon myself
For taking your life off the shelf
I'm drowning with guilt for not going
My true feelings never showing
Hiding like a little bitch
my life one big glitch
Never allowed to change the past
To sit on the docks and cast
Your all a faded memory dad
Knowing your watching over Robert makes me glad
So I'm deeply sorry for the pain I caused
Your fatherly figure is applaused
I miss you deeply and can't wait to see you
Then my life wouldn't be so blue
Keep watching over us as we always up
I think this is the end.....Yep!
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