Emotional Roller Coaster

By: Jaycee M. Smith

You get a new gf for every month,

And it tears me apart,

Not that you would notice,

Or care for that matter.

I thought maybe there was a chance,

Then I slipped up and accidentally made it sound as if we were once more,

Word got back around,

You got scared,

Ran away,

Got a new girl,

So here I am,

Again.

Alone.

Feeling dead inside,

Because I don’t know how to handle not loving you,

How to let you go,

In a few years you won’t be around anymore,

And it kills me to think about a world without you in it,

It just isn’t the same.

Why can’t you understand how much I love you?

Even through all the pain you’ve out me through.

I don’t care,

I still fucking love you,

And I can’t just stop,

I’m not just another heartless bitch,

Although sometimes I think it might be easier than having feelings at all.

My throat feels like it’s splitting in two,

From the words I want to scream at you,

The burning tears that I keep back,

So no one else has to see them.

Maybe it’s that you just don’t care,

Or that maybe you never loved me at all,

A hoax of epic proportions if you will.

A dirty joke to be played on me,

How many cracks does it take to break a heart?

So that all’s that’s left is a pile of dust?

Am I just the rebound girl?

Is that all I am really worth?

So this is what it’s like to wear your heart on your sleeve,

To be an Emotional Roller Coaster.