There's a secret place where I like to go to hide;
A place that's tucked away deep inside my mind.
It's a place where I can escape from all of life's normalcies
I can find the comfort and power and be in total control;
A place of crimson tragedies.

My thoughts and inhibitions, I leave outside the door;
My fears and worries aren't issues for me anymore.
In search of some answers, not sure of what I may find;
I just wish anyone could possibly make some kind of sense
Of this mess inside my mind.

I run around in circles, trying to figure it all out
I continue to find myself in the same position of unbearable doubt;
Too many questions, too many unknowns
I can't deal with the hurt anymore; I've taken all I can withstand;
All I have left is this metal in my hand.

I don't know what to make of this feeling; it's nothing like I've felt before
It's as if I were a whale that's laying upon the shore
Out of breath, gasping for life;
My head lays heavy on my neck, my body feels numb and cold
The only thought running through my mind, "Thank God, I never told."

I cry and scream; I reach out for help; but no one seems to hear or see
To what lengths am I going to have to go so someone will notice me?
I used to have strength to hold on; I used to give the advice to be strong
I used to think there were other ways to make you all see
Now I'm afraid the only way left is via crimson tragedy.

The mess, I know, it's not a pretty sight; horrific is a better word;
I never meant for it to happen like this, despite what you may have
heard.
A past of turmoil resulting in shame, a future of darkness and despair,
With only myself to blame.
My heart has been broken, beaten, left bleeding and for dead
No one really seemed to care before," Such is life," they all said.

There's so much I wanted to say, I didn't wait for the opportunity
I didn't want to be a burden; the last thing you needed to deal with was me.
I know I broke every promise that I made to you;
For that I'm sorry, it was for your own good.
Now maybe you can do what you have to do; live your life the way you should.

I wanted to be more than what my life was going to allow,
That's all behind me; there's no turning back now.
The damage is done and it's all under my control
My hope is that you will understand that all my life I've wanted to feel free
My escape from this madness, this lunacy, this insanity
Is with this crimson tragedy.


Written August 14th, 2006