C2H5OH
I feel hollow and numb.
I have yet to figure out why I'm depressed today.
All I want is a damn drink to help me overcome.
I wish I had vodka to make the hollow go away.
.
.
The hollow of alcohol is smoother,
Than the hollow of my heart.
.
.
Wine nearly killed me 253 days ago.
And tonight she almost won again.
Sober was easy until I felt this goddamn low.
Greiving the same shit that had me in such pain.
.
That binge almost did me in for good.
Four months of shoving down feelings.
Not addressing how they treated us so crude.
I never processed the emotions still reeling.
.
Brandy and booze . . .
They helped me get by
With essential worker blues
And every single life plan gone awry.
.
No social time;
Only doctors and work.
Putting my safety on the line,
Physically and by ignoring my hurt.
.
No children ever for us.
That's a hard to swallow pill.
I fought only for it to bust.
My only goal in life unfufill'd
My only goal in life unfufill'd
.
I thought I had grieved you months ago...
But here you come stopping by again today.
But this trauma is never ending woe
For the reminders of children happen every which way.
.
.
Every commercial,
Every friend,
Each family reunion,
Will my heart ever mend?
.
.
What are the married supposed to do
If even an adoption attempt fell through?
.
.
Drink, drink, drink,
And drink some more.
Drown the hollow;
Until my heart's not sore.
.
.
But it's 2/3 of the year already
I have resisted the call.
I will continue to grieve;
This time without alcohol.
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