Brothers

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  • Family

    Brothers

    i threw my brother through a window
    he was laughing at me
    taunting me with his tiny thumbs
    he landed safely
    on a big soft pile of ice chips and crumbs
    i grinned and followed
    the ten feet to the floor
    he rolled away swiftly
    but i tackled him hard
    and we're brothers who havent spoken
    in a year or more
    i dream sometimes of him at night
    of a relationship i cant relight
    just memories of those nights
    we spent sharing that one bedroom
    playing games in the dark
    hushed whispers and secret jokes
    wonder where my brother went
    when our paths took seperate routes
    im still the same
    but i think hes changed
    cant crawl in that skull
    to see whats rearranged
    the army took him
    they shipped him east
    he grew muscles and guts
    and he forgot how to think
    or so i imagine
    as i hover over the number on this phone
    that says his name
    but i cant call it and i cant place blame
    i just wonder when
    we're gonna head back around
    to the place we began

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    ApaqRasgirl commented on Brothers

    08-23-2010

    this was a very heartfelt write of family..so many family lose connection for one thing or another, it sounded like you and your brother had some good times........so its time to pick up that phone and give him a call, dont wait, for tomorrow my be to late......this piece was nicely written but I think it would have flowed better if you broke it into different stanza when you switched to a different topic about your brother.......still not a bad write,,,,,,just a hint that might help is all.........good read dear, thanks for sharing, and remember go pick that phone up and call him.........loves ya asha

    Mandi commented on Brothers

    08-23-2010

    this sounds lilke my family.. some one is always at it I liked it but there is much turmoil, you need to star with one style and stay withi it or at least esetablishi a rythym. but I like th phrases ankd the topic It is very revealing to somoe extent, about your outlook on life l

    AmadeusEx

    08/23/2010

    i dont exactly have a style...whatever happens on the page happens, and i rarely edit when im done...something to think about for later years when im less impatient and more professional about my writing, and this one probably shouldnt have been open to rating, i was just feeling like i needed my brother back...i ended up calling him the next week though, so i guess this poem helped me get my feelings straight

    Poetry comes nearer to vital truth than history.

    Plato (BC 427-BC 347) Greek philosopher.

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