I was told that it’s wrong to do but I went ahead and filled my heart with hate.

I don’t care what they say cuz that’s how I dealt with my ill fate.

I hope ya’ll can handle me now that you turned me into a pretender.

I hope I don’t meet the one to change me back, my single most apprehender.

No longer will I sit and wait to suffocate.

I’m going full speed ahead with intentions to infiltrate.

Well for a while time might stay suspended.

But I took my heart out so it doesn’t need to be defended.

I’m out and about with an old and selfish cause.

The decision was so easy that I didn’t hesitate or even pause.

I grew up big and they taught me to be strong.

And somewhere along the way I learned not to believe in a song.

I learned to rely only on what is real.

That takes away everything from my home to what I feel.

Even though I’m back on my personal highway to hell

I don’t think the idea of me going back to the bottle is gonna sell.

Life is one thing I truly don’t understand and I’m not even going to make and attempt.

It strikes me kinda funny that in God’s court I’m the first to find myself in contempt.

I don’t know up from down but I still know right from wrong but that doesn’t make my decisions resolute.

I’m chasing away my dreams and chasing down my demons with a shot of absolute.

That seems to go against what I said which makes it a contradiction.