An intimate moment

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  • Love

    Poem Commentary

    Im really glad i wrote this poem, because im telling something ive longed to for a very long time. Enjoy!

    An intimate moment

                             An Intimate Moment  63 Lines

    The moment was so smooth when it hit me i had to step back,
    To see that i did indeed have the nack,
    Finally, a moment the better skilled take for granted with no respect,
    And a moment that while smooth in motion, was one i didnt expect,
    I sat on the couch alert and expected a different action,
    Only to cause in me an immediate reaction,
    She (cause that will be her name here) said that she was going to sit next to me but took the word sit to lay,
    Decided she was so comfortable that she could make my day,
    Changed her mind with her body and began to lean back,
    Rose up real quick and said "Is this ok?, Do you mind if I lay, lean back?"
    "Oh yeah! Go ahead" i said without slack,

    And so the surreal situation became a real moment, One i embraced with joy,
    Beautiful body stretched out relaxed against my lap for me to employ,
    And i got to see her face, soft smooth skin and big brown eyes,
    Caressed her hair a little bit until a little surprise,
    Started swelling from below, made me uneasy and was killing my fire,
    Though the fire was strong down there without retire,
    I shifted so she wouldnt notice but knew that might not help,
    Figured soon im my mind id be weak and giving a yelp,
    But the more I figited, the more relaxed she became,
    And those actions actually eased my nerves just the same,

    Now then i could enjoy a moment i wasnt sure id see again,
    Caress her face, look into her eyes and inquire deep within,
    Till i remembered an audience was just across the way,
    Two other suitors it seemed eyed what seemed mine that day,
    I forgot she courted them and led them right along,
    Maybe she was playing the field and we were all part of her song,
    Whatever the case was it stung me just a little bit,
    I couldnt pull full throttle though in my grasp she did lay, fit,

    But I came to my senses and seized the moment as best as i could,
    I knew we couldnt be too intimate, but the two of us would if we could,
    Too many people around us, so we had to play calm,
    I still remember every touch with my palm,
    Across her face as we spoke and across her beautiful hair,
    A gentle moment in time made me feel on air,
    I just enjoyed holding her as she layed on my lap,
    With my eyes I surveyed her beauty from her toes to her cap,
    And quickly went back to her toes, because she takes care of them,
    Man i had it made right now, nothing could take this moment, Not even a million dollars on a whim,

    And I saw the looks on the two other suitors for they knew that i had won,
    Not that i was at war or anything for her, for no woman is worth the pain of a ton,
    But that when she layed upon me like she did it was something they may never posses,
    They may have even had her in other ways, but those ways amounted to less,
    Because that moment was intimate, an intimate moment for two,
    Had logistics been better her words would have been "lets dance me and you",

    And me taking it all in and letting it pass, its only now that i digest,
    And sit here days later glad i accepted her request,
    To lay on my lap and create an intimate moment with me,
    A long desired opprotunity came to pass to make me happy.


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    JaleesaSoco commented on An intimate moment

    05-10-2010

    ....moment. Damn. lol. I didn't want it to be over!...(sad puppy dog eyes) lol. I don't know what to say. Just...great! You got a girl on that one. Must be doing something right. And whatever it is, keep it up. :)

    sammia commented on An intimate moment

    05-10-2010

    WOW king, you did great on this as it is the first thing you have written in three months, deep, emotions flowing, love the flow and wording.

    Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion.

    T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

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