A Prayer in Several Formats

5 Comments

Poem Commentary

OkCupid is a matchmaking site.  For the unwed, sometimes searching for a partner in this modern era defies any past selection process.  Thanks for reading.

A Prayer in Several Formats

Nights on OKStupid*, struggling to breathe
in the air of lost romance
and null sexuality;
and days of professionalism,
and post-human specialities:
open a third eye on my computer forehead;
my shakras are connected to your IP address,
and my kundilini is extended into the ethernet.

Everywhere is a flirt:
the tightest blouse, tallest heels,
and shortest skirt;
And part of my martyr's soul is gracious
for the torture that they dole
to my base mind; while,
at the same time,
they nail me to two poles,
hands and feet,
and hoisted aloft
I am crucified
between the animal in me
and the world of our strange societies.

Pressing the keys of a keyboard
I feel the liquid thoughts move forward.
Letter by letter, word by line
these words aren't just mine:
they are yours and others,
sisters and brothers,
who all feel the same
confusion at this new game
of meeting friends
and finding a lover.

Old religions have lost their way
in this age of new technology
and so have simple methods
of introduction and matrimony.
It's enough to smother
the spirit of those traditionalists
unable to adapt
and see that
lightening bolts of Zeus
and Hera's careful hand
extend at our command
through the words drawn in the sand
of programs we use;
that Odin's eye was never so ceaseless in its sight;
that every day and every night Ra and Osiris
were no less vigilant to offer
their service
as your computer
now
will allow you to pray
and someone
somewhere
will listen
and maybe – just maybe -
they will answer someday.

You may be my god,
and I may be your worshipper;
it doesn't make me worse
and it doesn't make you superior;
it only means that we both need
one for the other to be complete,
and that our roles may change
as we grow and age;
and our cosmic love
may come from within or from above;
but if we are lucky we will live
and be happy with one another
and say, “We are a family”;
wife and husband,
father and mother.

Or some combination thereof.
Amen.


*OKCupid

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Charlie23 commented on A Prayer in Several Formats

02-17-2010

Very much an original in your thoughts you display! I have never read anything like this, and found myself a bit mesmerized in following your idea! I enjoy your originality; also was very well written!

CongoNetherland

02/17/2010

Wow! Thanks! It sort of flowed at the time and I even thought about how I was guilty of pulling at easy tabs - mythology. People love that stuff - I love it - but it is fanciful and in some ways irrelevant in the brave new world. But it pulls at heartstrings. And it is true. There is a certain harmony; you can use it or you can try to be original. Both options have their downsides! heh, heh . . . but it is a fun poem. And so true at the time. :) Trying to be original usually means . . . not good. Bad. I can't say more. (They're watching!) Death. Original=death. It's boring. Original is boring. Ok, I said it. To tell the truth, I don't know if people can handle original. We need baby steps and some steps seem almost hardwired into us. Those are easy to pluck. Myth, news and gossip - anger, fear and awe. (You have to figure the correlations, 'cause they aren't ordered exactly). It bothers me to have to use this. I guess familiar sells, but I think concepts are more important. And imagery. You did a fine job with your imagery on the Haiti poem. I really liked that line about the smell of porridge. Crazy how simple it is. A line about the smell of porridge is worth a fortune to those of us who know the value of a line.

am2anangel commented on A Prayer in Several Formats

10-06-2009

I loved it; the technological journey so many now persue to find love. Now adays. whenever I'm asked a question i'm unsure of; my automatic response is;"google it" What did we do before google? Perhaps actually make an effort to discover things on our own? Now more and more relationships are being ceated online, it is very interesting. Perhaps online can offer more of a reality in that we are not biased by appearances. I myself am generaly very honest about myself online although I know many are not and can be someone totaly different then who they are. Okay enough babbling; i loved the poem Great job and message.

wheelsal commented on A Prayer in Several Formats

06-29-2009

As a worshiper of that old religion, I still see great poetry here. Lost our way is in the eye or third eye. The concept of the nail and cross is definitely the animal instinct.

CongoNetherland

07/01/2009

Which old religion? I drew on Hinduism, Christian, Greek, Norse, and Egyptian religions. To me, the easiest punch in poetry is to go biblical - in any sense. People are easily drawn to religious motifs. Which is why God in Judeo/Christianity outlawed it. It should not be invoked in anything but the most ceremonious and honorable of occasions. But thanks. I do think it is great poetry too. I try to make that. There is nothing animal to the cross and nail though. It is completely human. Sadly.

wheelsal

07/01/2009

I consider these old religions. And the cross will always be the animal instinct that kills so cruelly. And yes humans care cruel. Hope I cleared this up.

wheelsal

07/01/2009

oops are.

vincenzo commented on A Prayer in Several Formats

06-28-2009

the length of the poem is concealed in its beauty. the reader is transported along in such a way that he doesnt know he has read some many lines. i now confirm that itv's either you were around in the days of the greeks or you've read too many of the materials from that period. good job. good use of allusion and imagery. keep it up

CongoNetherland

06/29/2009

Thanks Vincenzo. Sometimes I like to draw on myths and old religions. :)

CongoNetherland

07/01/2009

I have to say though - - is the poem too long? I t isn't an epic, but it also isn't a haiku. I like this poem a lot because it is from the heart but sort of panders to the masses in a semi literate way. I don't see how it can be considered too long, but I'm up for critique. I respect the Greek culture immensely. They heavily influenced me, for sure - more than any other culture when it comes to religion/myth.

jademelissa74 commented on A Prayer in Several Formats

06-06-2009

Very interesting read. You have managed to take the reader to a journey. I really like this poem!!

CongoNetherland

06/09/2009

Thanks jademelissaq74. :)

CongoNetherland

06/10/2009

By the way, I really liked your post about constructive criticism. It's an honor to get a thumbs up from you. Thanks. I'll be able to be more active on this site next week, after work stops barkin'. I, too, think that it is best to be straight up with our words and not pull punches. Some things are hits, and some are somehow misses, and it ain't about being cold, and it ain't about subtle disses . . .ok, I'll stop rhyming now . . . Lol!

If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.

Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) American poet.

CongoNetherland’s Poems (16)

Title Comments
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Anna's Song 6
ECH 2
Russian Composers 1
Song of a Spiritual Agnostic 12
If You 8
Once 1
Paging You 2
I Have a Ficus 3
The Last Gasp of Ra 3
Soft Regret (Anna's Song 1
Conversations with Myself 6
Nebulous v. Cumulous 1
In Toto 4
Birds 2
A Poem A Day 4
A Prayer in Several Formats 5