The way I am

Why can't I just get things right sometimes? It feels like I'm always messing up. If it isn't a problem at home then it's a problem with my friends. It usually isn't with them, but when it is then it really hits home. I was told that I laugh everything off. I was told that I'm not mature enough. It also feels like I'm not smart enough. People always expect me to just be funny and run around and be weird and stupid. There are days when I have a horrible day, when nothing goes right, but I just put on a smile anyways to make everyone else happy. The reason for that is that if I show some emotion other then happy then everyone keeps asking me what is wrong. Even when I don't want to talk about it, they won't leave it alone. I don't like talking about my feelings, or feelings in general. I can be serious when I need or want to be and I know for damn sure that I am smart. I might not be Einstein, but I know for sure that I am smarter that a lot of people. You can call me any name, call out the way I act or am, but that is just the way I am. I can't help the way I am.