I’ve taken life’s ride wildly and thought of slowing down

I’ve searched the many corners of my mind unsure of what I’ve found

I’ve been blessed to survive many ordeals with no explanation of how

Now I stand impatiently at the crossroads and wonder, “What Now?”

I‘ve loved and lost and learned to love again

I’ve been hurt somewhat by enemies but worse by friends

I’ve tried and failed but bounced up fighting to win

I’ve placed confidence in some who hurt me but I learned to trust again

There is a door for me to open, but I can’t see how

So I stand there knocking and wiggling the door knob screaming, “What Now?”

What am I here for and why is it so hard?

Why when my soul is a free spirit, should I keep my guard?

I’ve cried for no reason and managed to trouble my brain

In doing this I’ve created a sorrow that gives me physical pains

I’m hurting sometimes to the point that I could scream out loud

Alone as a falling tree in the wilderness with no sound,

“What Now?” Do I win or lose figure it out or stay confused?

Do I continue to avoid the questions maybe find drugs to abuse?

Should I be misused by others and even more by me?

Or, should I bury myself in pity aiding my inability to see?

Damn! I’m dying without really learning how to live

My four cornered room has nothing but darkness and my question is……

“What Now?” when my oxygen is taken and I struggle to breathe

 “What Now?” when everyone deserts me but God and I’m on my knees

“What Now?” when I’ve cried so much that my tear ducts produce blood

“What Now?” when all needed was someone to love me and someone to love

“What Now?” when I wanted to give up but that’s not in my nature

“What Now?” when I’m cut from a better mold but exhibit suicidal behavior

My head hurts so much that it’s becoming a task to see

So confused in this game of life I wonder does anyone see me

I’m just standing here, waving my hands screaming out loud

But still it seems not a soul can hear me, “What Now?”