everyday i sit in bed,
dreaming of a perfect life.
how it would be for me if i had
the mother i always wanted.
the one to see i want happiness,
i want peace,
i want to wake up everyday,
knowing who i am
an not wakin up jus wondering,
am i going to comit scuicide today?
ami going to laugh today?
is today just another day of hell?
what crap to i have to deal with today?
the one to see i have a passion for poetry
and know what i want to become in life.
i want to be writer,
i want to be able to write poetry about what iv been through
and hope that when people read it,
they will realize ther not the only one.
the perfect mother for me would be,
one to see i love poetry,
my dream is to be a writer.
not a counciler,
yea i like helping people,
but i can always help people no matter what.
the one to tell me
i have what it take to make it in this world.
one to tell me no matter what obsticle come along,
i should always follow my dream.
one to tell me when things go wrong,
everything will be ok.
one id be able to tell anything to,
and she wont get mad, she'll understand.
one to tell me to always keep faith in myself.
one to feel my pain.
but all that isnt reality,
its just a fantacy world i live in sometimes.
my real mother,
doesnt know i think everyday,
when i see his face, when i heir his voice,
i just want to runaway an never come back.
she doesnt know that i think scuicide is my only option.
she doesnt know ive lost faith in god,
thinking everyday, he isnt real.
she doesnt know that i hater her,
and she lost my love, ill never forgive her.
she doesnt know evertime i see his and her face
i just want to get i knife and just stab them to death.
fine i get the point, keep him.
now i see the truth,
youd rather loose another kid, leaving you with just three,
knowing your sapose to have six.
youd rather loose a daughter, than loose a dad for another daughter.
ive even lost my love for my baby sister,
because i know, if it wernt for her, i wouldnt have to live in a fantacy world, it would be reality,i would have the perfect life.
but i dont!
this is my everyday life.
i use to be scared to go to hell,
but now, why be scared?
im living in hell everyday.