Comes the three a.m. hour...awake again
Restless and weary...trying to sleep to TV...
My thoughts wont stop...the circle won't end...
I hate this denial from sleep as my friend...

I close my eyes and try to sleep...
open them again...wishing I could breathe.
I close my eyes and feel life caving in...
I wish this life would be my friend.

This solitude within my heart...is like a knife...
that rips and tears me apart...with remembrances...
of ghosts gone by...sometimes it is a blessing...
and beyond that a lesson...when family dies...

I drift back some twenty plus years...block out the sounds...
In the next room so angry...I stare at the ground...
and hear the voices yelling...wait for the axe to fall...
and fall it always did...after all...

He was my living, breathing nightmare...
and harmed all he touched...including so many people...
I quite deeply loved...his voice shook the rafters...
and now he lives in some dark hereafter...

but not before he crucified the lives of those nearby...
He took what he wanted...struck where he wished...
was a miserable wretch who now lies in a ditch...
forgiveness achieved every now and again...but then...

I run across these nights like this...I feel screwed up...
and then remembrances...crawl out of the ground...
invade my brain...and make me afraid to drop my guard again.
Now I lay me down to sleep...and I pray the lord my soul to keep...

AGAIN...and try to believe one more time...
something good will save me...
I wish some dead would die.