Shadow-world

Mama, are you lost in a shadow-world?
I see you looking back at ghosts of you,
confidence totally shaken.
Your eyes are scared. Your knees are quaking...
and independence fading.
You don't know what to do.
You can only sit back while others choose!

You smile at me uncertainly
and grasp at any trace of praise,
because that must mean you are doing okay,
and nowadays you are not always sure.
I see you cringe when you hear there is no cure
and hope you don't know what the road is ahead.
We walk in the courtyard before you go to bed.

I discuss memories of the weeping willow tree,
glad that you remember the farm
and for now remember me.
I feel relief they have you on better meds,
tell you that I love you and I watch your face turn red
for the woman just inside the door,
that takes off her top and drops it to the floor.

I can feel your fear that someday that is you
and again I feel helpless...and afraid.
This place is new.
This place is locked...and locked is scary.
I see your shock...that this is necessary.
We love you so and pray you know it..
but that locked door does not seem to show it!

I remember my sweet little gypsy mamasan...
who loved her wine coolers and to go out and dance...
I got you to hitchhike. Remember that time?
You made great spaghetti and you loved your sci-fi!
You were warm and a go-getter with a heart made of gold.
Mama. I love you. I still see...your inner soul.
My heart has wrapped you in it's arms and will not let you go!!!

EVER.