Ropes

 Where will I go when my heart needs to be still?

How will I find quiet in the midst of the noise around me?

I have run out of any logic that could make sense of anything that is the world.

I want so badly to yield, let my heart feel this hurt, over and over and over.

I don’t know what to say, I can’t escape this pain, my fingers just run on empty space

There is a never ending sorrow in each tear that I cry at night.

There is an unbearable agony that torments my sleep.

There is a child who dies while she resides in me.

A little girl in my soul who can’t find any sleep.

There in my life is time that won’t stand still, an earth that won’t stop spinning.

Open wounds, treated by grey haired doctors, that won’t ever heal.

I AM BROKEN

If only the world could feel these tears that build inside me now,

This wall that separates me from any source of happiness, O GOD JUST TEAR IT DOWN.

O world, have sympathy for this old girl, being born into this madness that is her own life.

One finger goes down¸ counts the sorrow of my world.

Two fingers go up and point to me the invisible girl.

Three fingers are the years of my daughter who I can’t give everything to.

Four are the fingers that take away my youth.

Five fingers are balled into a fist, giving me my last fight.

I have, am, and can stand nothing else, so to my life

Goodnight