As of late this shit has been all consuming

Did I really have to take it this far?

He was wrong

But undoubtedly I may have been more wrong

I am now one apart of the sums of many

I never belonged before

And this project of fitting in is foreign in concept

And as insidious as sin

I dare to be a woman that I do not even know,

And have even less inclination to be associated with

The power

Did I do it all for the Power?

I did do it all for the power

Guarded and open concurrently

I chopped em’ all down like axes

Sharpened blades begging to behead

I am somehow the catalysts

Holding both life and death in the Palm of my grandmothers hands

And as I murder my subjects

They don’t even make a sound

In the mirror I see me blushing

-That my reflection even appears bemuses me still

And I wonder?

Would Christ even want me as I plead that I had to be avenged

The justified standing with the accused

Is it crazy?

Or am I?

I don’t have any answers

And I reckon that maybe he too needed something

And somehow my anger blinded me to see all of that

I was hurt

But surely he must have been also

And along lying there in a river full of other emotions,

Surely hurt and pain must’ve been among them

I wasn’t too generous

I never am when I am wounded

I inflicted pain, and then I sat there licking my own wounds

“Salty…”

And even now I have yet to realize that this accident is all scattered debris

From my reckless endangerment

Saying that “I love you”

But never really meaning it, because I was confused

Needing so much to fill that emptiness that when I am more than lucid

I swear doesn’t exists.

But I and God knows that it does

And maybe so does all of my innocent bystanders

Two brazen images, and I am born

And I can only image who I must be.