Part of the List

4 Comments

Tags:
  • Released
    • ,
  • Happiness
    • ,
  • Nature
    • ,
  • Erotic
    • ,
  • Life
    • ,
  • Sadness
    • ,
  • Lost Love

    Part of the List

    Part of the list

     

    You haunt me

    Your skin on my back

    I carry your flesh inside of my flesh

    Bone of my bone

    My hair draped over your shoulders

    My legs wrapped around your waist

    Your mouth painting pictures on my mouth

    Ghost…

    Vanish from my body so that I may find rest when the moon kisses the sky

    Death won’t erase your memory

    And life exist empty without you

    I don’t have your heart so mine won’t beat

    I can’t breathe

    Your eyes your lips your hips your kiss serenaded me when comfort couldn't and wouldn't come

    Now they are all a part of the list of memories that haunt me

    Just a part of the list


     

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    shallenemcgrath commented on Part of the List

    01-20-2011

    This is really cool... the pic you have with this is frightening. I love that you are a ghost but the other is haunting you... it is a crazy idea. I wish you would write more metaphor into it. keep the reader guessing -this idea has such great potential... there is a whole ream of reasons this should be longer (which I don't often say about poems) At first I looked at the list as a legacy that you were carrying in your flesh and bones, like it was passed on to you by ancestors... And that you breathe only when their heart beats within you- Its crazy but I love this. Be careful... I am getting jealous of this idea, I might borrow it. :-)
    Reply to Comment

    blvdobd2009

    01/20/2011

    by all means plz run with it! I just want to first say how truly grateful I am firer your complete honesty....I need that criticism...it just breathes life into me...I honestly agree it should have been longer...the person who once occupied my heart that I speak of here can find a way to dominate my thoughts so I had tip abandon this work lol! your words were such a blessing

    shallenemcgrath

    01/23/2011

    You are the blessing BlvdDreams... You have true talent.

    Chaos128 commented on Part of the List

    01-19-2011

    Very affecting, B. It's a paradox the way "ghosts" are the only things that become more obvious the more you try to ignore them.
    Reply to Comment

    blvdobd2009

    01/19/2011

    Gosh I swear, sometimes I feel like you are like opening my head and reading my mind, Chaos it is so hard to ignore these feelings, especially when you know that those very ones are not and never will be reciprocated...

    irielove commented on Part of the List

    01-19-2011

    very good pace, i felt like i was in an action movie with a twist of horror, i enjoyed it. Definatly got my sences awake!
    Reply to Comment

    blvdobd2009

    01/19/2011

    Wow! I just wanted to say thank you...It always means so much to get criticism on my work and feelings...I am forever grateful

    blvdobd2009 commented on Part of the List

    01-19-2011

    This is a tribute to Ne-Yo and also dedicated to the one who got away...
    Reply to Comment

    JonTalbain

    04/23/2013

    Whomever he is, I am sure he knows how strongly you feel and to hope that love should bridge you two again.

    If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.

    Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) American poet.

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