Struggles, grief, pain and darkness.

Lonliness that words cannot express.
In my sleep i reach out
to find a loving touch
emptiness is what i find
and an unwilling love that i can do without.
I cry tears unseen
heart breaking from within
tearing my very soul to shreds
how can life be so cruel; so mean.
Hopes shattered, dreams unachieved.
Love and life becoming meaningless.
Breathing is such a chore.
How could I have believed.
Love was forever, or so I thought
i have paid the price
of the highest cost
giving my soul completely, your love was all I had sought.
I am surrounded by the darkness
of my breaking heart, dreams are nightmares
full of longing but no longer having the energy to fight
the demons in my soul, I must confess
I no longer am in love with you
I loved you once long ago, everything about you.
but the bitter years have jaded my heart
leaving me not wanting you.
I am tired of the battles we have, tired oh so tired
of your indifference to me and my feelings.
I am tired of not mattering.
I am tired of being lonely even when you are here. My love has expired.
Go now, your name will forever be on my lips and in my heart
however I stand alone even when you are here.
My struggles you do not help.
Go take with you all of my heart, leave behind nothing not even a little part.
Goodbye my love, go quickly so i can weep
Letting go of the past, the pain and even the joys we shared
is the only way my soul can learn to mend.
I struggle in the darkness, again evading sleep.
For sleep brings the tears
the pain of letting go.
At least now the lonliness is of my choosing not because of your indifference.
I can maybe now face my fears.
Lonliness that words cannot express.
Struggles, grief, pain and darkness.
Soon the light will shine again for me
New beginnings will dawn today setting me free.