if i could see

6 Comments

  • lemuwah
  • is trudging, try, wandering thru, trying to find what I'm to do.

if i could see


Sometimes I see the truth in your eyes
other times I can't see beyond the lies.
Sometimes I wish your heart could see
this love I hide deep inside me.
you placed a steel blanket around your heart
so that no other could tear it apart
Sustained behind all your chains
My efforts-all were in vain
I'd like to think I made some imprint
have I left a scratch, tear, or footprint?
All my tears misting around
not a one will reach the ground
Searching my mind for the slightest trace
In that blanket do I have a place??

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cmlestrade commented on if i could see

09-12-2009

very good writing. the rhyming is very good as well as your rhythm. It can be very frustrating when one can't or won't commit and we can't discover the reason.

SILKYTWEED commented on if i could see

09-09-2009

Great Write, tight flow...very special....Thanks for sharing!

gogant commented on if i could see

09-03-2009

Sometimes we feel as though we'll never know for sure if a love is a truth or fictional blur in our mind. We can hide from it, cover ourselves with protective armor, and still it slips in without a hint. Very nice dear...

Hampton commented on if i could see

09-01-2009

Very nicely done. To penetrate the barriers one has created requires infinite patience.

Charlie23 commented on if i could see

08-29-2009

This is very well written! My favorite line, "you place a steel blanket around your heart" I just love that! I also have a poem in contest, "How do we get there?" if you have time to take a look at it and leave a comment, I'd greatly appreciate it!

To have great poets there must be great audiences too.

Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)

lemuwah’s Poems (13)

Title Comments
Title Comments
God's Will 4
if i could see 6
demise 3
dusty little book 2
innocence lost 3
Love is 2
Against all odds 1
scattered petals 1
unforgotten 2
Wandering 2
whisper 6
what you mean to me 2
Just Questions 4