I Remember

By Samantha Bohlert

I remember, I remember, I remember … standing on the corner,

staring into the yard, my body weak and weary, my soul screaming

 “Help me, God!”

I remember, I remember, I remember …sitting at the table, paraphernalia strewn about, looking all around thinking is this what life’s about?

I remember, I remember, I remember …devious bitches, back-stabbing snitches, soup kitchens, crack houses, dope fiends, dead bodies swimming with fishes.

I remember, I remember, I remember musty clothes, cracked out hoes, spending my last ones on coke that blows.

I remember, I remember, I remember …Charlie Brown and his busted van.  R.I.P. Stan the Man.  Ike, Primetime aka Lemon, Dreamer, Diane, too.  All the messed up things we had to do.

I remember, I remember, I remember … ‘cause I’ll never forget.  Fast cars, dim lit bars, salty balls and ginseng jars.

I remember, I remember, I remember … Ocean Bidwell, Stegman and Westside ave.  I remember, I remember, I remember barely getting any sleep, my eyes so full of bags.

I remember, I remember, I remember …abandoned houses, stinking johns, smoking so much coke ‘til break of dawn.

I remember, I remember, I remember …that night in the park.  The blood-stained snow.  Would I live?  I didn’t know.

I remember, I remember, I remember …Greenville Hospital, 20 stitches to my dome.  I remember, I remember, I remember even now that I am home.