DECISIONS

By Samantha

            As I sit on my bunk reading the serenity prayer.  I think of all the things that got me here.  Whoring on the corner waiting for my next john, smoking up Peru till everything was gone.

            I thought about the nights I thought I'd go insane; I was the only bitch out in the pouring rain.  My hair would be all matted my clothes would smell of musk.  I'd have to stay awake cause there was no one I could really trust.

            I'd find my self a john who wanted to spend some cash.  I'd go to buy the coke, then make my speedy dash.  See, I'm a firm believer of living by the sword.  What goes around comes back again.  A couple of times I damn near lost my vocal cords.

            One moment living large, got a pocket full of cash.  Couple hours later I'm back out there selling ass.  Eating in soup kitchens, stealing from the goodwill.  Finding a new outfit was my biggest thrill.

            Trying to make a decision for some loosies or a bump.  I knew for a few hours I could have a batting slump.  I'd look for the tightest pants to show my little butt, all the while I knew I really looked fucked up.

            I'd primp; I'd brush, slap in a little gel.  All the while I really was signing my express ticket for a one way trip to hell.  I'd stand out there for hours, through the heat, the cold, the rain.  I'd think of my children was their love for me in vain.

            Then I would luck up and come across a big time spender, after an hour of bullshit, I'd have to start pretending.  That I was really happy and that I really cared but if he was out of money, then I'd soon be out of there.