FIRST

BY SAMANTHA BOHLERT

SHE HAD MANY OF FIRST TIMES SHE COULD REMEMBER.

THE WAY GERALD LOVED HER WHEN SHE WAS JUST TWELVE.  HER AND ANDY PARENTS AT THE AGE OF FOURTEEN.  THE TRIP TO THE CLINIC IT WAS ALL JUST A DREAM.

AT THE AGE OF FIFTEEN SHE WAS NOW ON THE PILL IT WAS THEN ANTHONY WHO FORCED HER TO HAVE SEX AGAINST HER WILL.  SIXTEEN ROBERT BECAME HER FIRST LOVE, SEVENTEEN MALCOLM AND SHE BECAME TIGHT LIKE A GLOVE.

EIGHTEEN NEWLY GRADUATED, HER AND JIMMY WOULD GIVE BIRTH, LATER ON HE WOULD INFLICT MANY PHYSICAL HURTS.  THEN NINETEEN THROUGH TWENTY RAHEEM WOULD BE HER MAN, WHEN RELEASED FROM JAIL EAST ORANGE WOULD BE THE PLAN.

TWENTY-ONE SHE CAME HOME WITH HER TAIL BETWEEN HER LEGS, IN HER NEW APARTMENT WITH JIMMY FOR HER LIFE SHE SOON WOULD BEG.  TWENTY-TWO HER AND MIKE WOULD HAVE A LITTLE GIRL, THAT SOON MADE HIM LEAVE.  ANOTHER CRISIS IN HER WORLD.

TWENTY-THREE SHE’D FIND THE WOMAN WHO GAVE HER UP AT BIRTH, ELVEN MONTHS LATER THAT LADY WOULD LEAVE THIS EARTH.  TWENTY-FOUR TO TWENTY-FIVE SHE’D SMOKE A LITTLE WEED.  IT WAS AT THAT TIME THAT TIME PLANTED THE COKE SEED.  SHE HAD HER FIRST APARTMENT, SHE HAD HER FIRST CAR.

THE ANNIVERSARY OF HER MOTHER’S DEATH SHE SPENT HER FIRST TWO MONTHS BEHIND BARS.  SHE HAD HER FIRST REHAB, SHE HAD HER FIRST RELAPSE.  SHE GOT HER FIRST CONVICTION WHEN SHE STARTED SMOKING CRACK.  AT TWENTY-EIGHT HER AND PETE MADE AN INSTANT FAMIL WITH HIS TWO KIDS AND HER OWN, IT WASN’T A HAPPY FAMILY BECAUSE PETE WAS NEVER HOME.

AT THIRTY LIVING IN MOTELS, WORKING THREE JOBS TO MAKE ENDS MEET.  BY THIRTY-ONE SHE WAS WITH RICHARD AND NOW LIVING ON THE STREETS.  AT THIRTY-TWO SHE WOULD SLEEP ANYWHERE SHE COULD FIND IF THE PRICE WAS RIGHT SHE’D SPEND A LITTLE TIME.  NOW NEARLY THIRTY-THREE, NOT SURE OF WHAT WILL COME TO PASS, LET HER POEM BE YOUR FIRST AND HER EXPERIENCE BE YOUR LAST.