Friend, Lover, Soul mate
I am a runner when it comes to trusting anyone,
Everything was kept hidden, everything I learned when I was young.
Secrets and survival was my code of ethics,
Keeping quiet and making fast exits.
As the years went by, marriages and kids,
So did my trust when it came to men.
I had a lot of baggage I knew from the start and I was almost at the finish line of life carrying it with a broken heart!
Inside my head it would tell me love was lost to me,
Because I was a runner all my life, can you not see?
My Mom would tell me, “Janie, God has someone for you”, I would laugh and say, “Mama, come on now, who?”
We moved back from Oregon after the burial of my oldest son that winter of 05, wishing more that I was dead than alive.
My mother and I were always so codependent that I could never leave, until I went to therapy and found out it was a sickness, a poison to me.
Mama never understood the change that was happening to me this time; restoration was taking place in my body and mind.
I finally went on one of those on-line dates,
Never again, “Telling the Lord, I guess being single is my fate!”
Now I know what a turkey thinks on Thanksgiving Day, oh, my god, to them I am just another piece of meat!
I told the Lord in no uncertain terms, unless you bring him to my garage packed with all my stuff, and then maybe, I might believe you, just call my bluff!
Gino is his name, he is gentle, kind, very understanding, just an ordinary guy without any fame.
I told him everything about me from the beginning to end, he said he knew I was a little crazy as far as he could comprehend.
He says he loves me and shows me in so many ways,
I do not think I will run this time, I think I am going to stay.
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