Original Poetry Forums

A poetry challenge

05-17-2009 at 08:13:02 AM

A poetry challenge

write a poem with the title "welcome to hell" and post it. when you do just reply here with a quick "hell posted" so who ever wants to can go read you hell. "


"hell Posted" check it out excaim

05-17-2009 at 06:40:29 PM

Re: A poetry challenge

Hell Posted

05-18-2009 at 01:34:31 PM

Re: A poetry challenge

I DON'T THINK THIS HELL MOOT IS A HELLISHLY GOOD IDEA--lol

There was a man who went to church only when he was drunk. The preacher , one night service, shouted, "Briothers and Sisters, all who want to go to heaven , please stand and raise your hand!"

Everybody stood, except the drunk. He fried to rise, but he was too drunk to do so. ,


"Brother, why are you sitting?" asked the preacher.

Answered the drunk, " Unnu gwaan an' leave me! Lock up di church an' left me! Mi soon come!"
( Go ahead! Lock up the church and leave me. I'll soon come!" )

Last edited by cousinsoren 05-18-2009 at 01:39:52 PM

05-18-2009 at 01:36:18 PM

Re: Re: A poetry challenge

Quote:
Originally Posted by cousinsoren


I DON'T THINK THIS HELL MOOT IS A HELLEISHLY GOOD IDEA--lol

There was a man who wne to church only when he was drunk. The preacher , on night service, shouted, "Brityhers and Sisters, all who want to go to heaven , please stand and raise your hand. Everybody stood, except the drunk. He fried to rise, but he was too drunk to do so. ,
"Brother, why are you sitting?" asked the preacher. Answered the drunk, " Unnu gwaan an' leave me! Lock up di church an' left me! Mi soon come!"
( Go ahead! Lock up the church and leave me. I'll soon come!" )

05-19-2009 at 04:26:55 AM

Re: A poetry challenge

so if u dont like the idea then don't do it. this isnt a slam to God or religion or anything like that. some people are going through hell of some kind right now if u r not then good for you. if you dont like my challenge then dont take it click on another page. no one asked u for your oppinion.

05-19-2009 at 10:16:27 AM

Re: Re: A poetry challenge

Quote:
Originally Posted by JadedJezzabel

so if u dont like the idea then don't do it. this isnt a slam to God or religion or anything like that. some people are going through hell of some kind right now if u r not then good for you. if you dont like my challenge then dont take it click on another page. no one asked u for your oppinion.


Ah-ah! I certainly got your hackles up! Uh ? You don't have to be rude. I read your poem "Welcome To Hell" and enjoyed it immensely. I am almost converted by its paradoxical sermon., to the extent that I'm thinking of going on a trip there-Lol. You are saintly devil at writing poetry , aren't you? -lol

What I mean that after such a superb piece done by you, it's not a good idea for anyone to take up your challenge. You missed my wry humour-LOL
I'll be reading all your poems. A Herculean task, isn;t it? But I shall do it,
However, refrain from being so intolerably acidic to your gentle critics, It is incompatible with your beauty and feminine grace. You are hot stuff-I mean your poetry is hot stuff. Under what star were you born,,may I ask?

Last edited by cousinsoren 05-19-2009 at 10:23:36 AM

05-19-2009 at 12:24:11 PM

Re: A poetry challenge

JaddedJez, your anger towards "Cousinsoren" is hell itself in all of its verbal fire. Nice job!
And there is no reason to be rude because placing anything in the Forum is asking for everyone's opinion, and everyone in entitled without being set on fire. Please, do not be so intimidated or insulted or frustrated or anything but poetically gentle. Peace.



05-19-2009 at 02:05:17 PM

Re: Re: A poetry challenge

Quote:
Originally Posted by dahlusion

JaddedJez, your anger towards "Cousinsoren" is hell itself in all of its verbal fire. Nice job!
And there is no reason to be rude because placing anything in the Forum is asking for everyone's opinion, and everyone in entitled without being set on fire. Please, do not be so intimidated or insulted or frustrated or anything but poetically gentle. Peace.



THANKS, dahlusion,

The erudite, very fiery and talented poetess obviously misconstrued my noble intention. I forgive her, and pray that she will behave more pleasantly in the future. Thanks again to come to my defence.--LOL. I really needed, this time, someone equipped with helmet , shield and spear. You came just in time! LOL. God bless you.

Last edited by cousinsoren 06-09-2009 at 03:40:59 AM

05-19-2009 at 07:50:58 PM

Re: A poetry challenge

Welcome To Hell

Welcome to hell I'm glad that you came,
You're stuck with me now with no one to blame.
I spoke and you listened you completed my deed,
The murder and mayhem the hearts you made bleed.
The rapes you committed the lives that you took,
Like the couple you killed while they sat at the brook.
Your father and mother they raised just right,
Showing you the light but you walked in the night.
On their knees they stay praying that you'd be changed,
You listened to my voice and became more deranged.
That's when it all started you joined with my force,
You killed the young and old completing the course.
Your blood path reached heaven God gave me your name,
Your parents sent their prayers I'm glad that you’ve came.
Welcome to hell where you don't want to be,
Your parents tried to tell you not to listen to me.
When you started killing and the word got to them,
They asked God to deal with you and all this mayhem.
God gave you to me and said torture him well,
So stop all that screaming and welcome to hell.

Welcome To Hell – A Place Where You Don’t Want To Be…Amen
Written By: David L. Scott




05-19-2009 at 08:30:48 PM

Check Out My Book: "The Psalters Of The Field"

I am asking everyone to check out my book "The Psalters Of The Field" at www.lulu.com/thebookcastle1, you can preview it by clicking on the title of the book next to the book cover, on the next page simply click on the to go forward; click on the + to increase the font size and the - to decrease the font size. I pray you will find it a delight to read and get your copy today - thank you all - may God bless you and keep you all... Amen

kdavidscott1 = David L. Scott

05-19-2009 at 09:13:42 PM

Re: A poetry challenge


if i misunderstood i'm sorry. no harm no foul and thank you for the compliment. smile

05-19-2009 at 09:16:05 PM

Re: Re: A poetry challenge

Quote:
Originally Posted by kdavidscott1

Welcome To Hell

Welcome to hell I'm glad that you came,
You're stuck with me now with no one to blame.
I spoke and you listened you completed my deed,
The murder and mayhem the hearts you made bleed.
The rapes you committed the lives that you took,
Like the couple you killed while they sat at the brook.
Your father and mother they raised just right,
Showing you the light but you walked in the night.
On their knees they stay praying that you'd be changed,
You listened to my voice and became more deranged.
That's when it all started you joined with my force,
You killed the young and old completing the course.
Your blood path reached heaven God gave me your name,
Your parents sent their prayers I'm glad that you’ve came.
Welcome to hell where you don't want to be,
Your parents tried to tell you not to listen to me.
When you started killing and the word got to them,
They asked God to deal with you and all this mayhem.
God gave you to me and said torture him well,
So stop all that screaming and welcome to hell.

Welcome To Hell – A Place Where You Don’t Want To Be…Amen
Written By: David L. Scott







excellent but you should have just posted it on your poems wink

05-20-2009 at 02:53:50 AM

Re: A poetry challenge

Welcome back,it's been awhile -
now- what did you do?
Walk past the beggars,
like most people do?

Or was it more sinister,
thought threw
and well planned ?
Got what you wanted?
Is that blood on your
hands?

You humans don't get it.
You waste so much time,
Each tear you cause others,
is your choice -
NOT MINE

excaim

05-20-2009 at 05:51:19 AM

Re: A poetry challenge

Quote:
Originally Posted by JadedJezzabel

write a poem with the title "welcome to hell" and post it. when you do just reply here with a quick "hell posted" so who ever wants to can go read you hell. "


"hell Posted" check it out excaim



Welcome To Hell written by Jadedjezzabel is a paradoxically crafted piece about the terrors of hell. This poem is a traumatic experience. Its overtones lurk in the memory

READ ALSO DAVID SCOTT'S "WELCOME TO HELL" a milder but yet effective treatment of the theme of hell.

Last edited by cousinsoren 05-20-2009 at 08:18:53 AM

05-20-2009 at 05:59:06 AM

Re: Re: A poetry challenge

Quote:
Originally Posted by JadedJezzabel


if i misunderstood i'm sorry. no harm no foul and thank you for the compliment. smile


Hi JadedJezzabel


Your apology is accepted (Smile)

I also accept 50% of the blame. I ought to have expressed what I had in mind more clearly.

I just noticed that you had read David Scott's "WELCOME TO HELL."

05-20-2009 at 11:01:10 AM

Re: A poetry challenge

Hell posted!!

05-20-2009 at 11:13:06 AM

Re: Re: A poetry challenge

Quote:
Originally Posted by JLorian

Hell posted!!



i'm sorry i went to read your hell poem but could not find it long face

05-20-2009 at 11:13:52 AM

WELCOME TO HELL

I thought you were an angel the day I met you
everytime to my rescue it seemed that you flew
with passionate kisses you promised me heaven
your hugs and caress my pain did leaven

I open my heart completely and gave it to you
thats when I found out nothing was true
your halo transformed to a pair of horns
you made a queen with a crown of thorns

My laughter turned into silent screams
nightmares made me forget my dreams
I became cold, numb and confused
feeling used, abused and all bruised

I prayed but my voice wasn't heard
you made me think, what I said was absurd
I forgot how to dance, sing, and smile
became a loner bitter and hostile

You wrapped me more each time you'd lie
turned into thunderous gray my blue sky
nothing mattered nothing I cared to see
death was all I prayed to come for me

I asked you constantly where was heaven
but you left me alone crying in this awful cell
so I became uccustomed to your dark haven
now I am a monster I see it so well

now you are who complains about me
and gets so confused when I angrily yell
you ask where is that angel I used to be
but now its me who says Welcome to hell.........
















Last edited by poett 05-20-2009 at 11:49:24 AM

05-20-2009 at 12:46:05 PM

Re: A poetry challenge

Hi..I'm new here...I read your post..and i loved it...

I posted mine

05-20-2009 at 03:36:43 PM

Re: A poetry challenge

To hell for my salvation;;

Once this man
Who in so much pain
Not knowing the truth
is sins took over his brain.

It happened that day
The battle on the lake
As I stood up to fight
The ground, it started to shake.

As I fall to the ground,
Shells bursting limbs
No sight nor sound
But, a vision of falling from within.

A journey to the other side.
Then a wagon train threw a wilderness,
But, no moon nor sun in skies.

For the trees were darkened,
Chard and scorched.
The clouds a puff gray,
I choke cause -like smoke.

Heat like fire,
No flames I saw,
The screaming of people,
Like echoes threw a Hall.

For the first time in my life,
I prayed, no lie,
And The shadow of a man
What it is to die.

My depths of fear
With the sins one hide,
Glowing getting near,
A vision without eye’s,

Go back my son,
I heard in my head,
Today you live,
Yesterday you were dead.

In that very moment
The awakening of one’s eye‘s,
The vision of your beauty
To hell for my salvation,
Grateful to be alive. ………………..by; Michelangelo Valdez

05-20-2009 at 03:48:04 PM

Re: A poetry challenge

The B, B, and G

midnight rain
and sizzling tires
hypnotize the city

as i sail down sixth
foggy steam settles,
liquid weight
sinking my conscious
blurring
white and yellow lines

street lights melt
against the windshield
streaming down
in random
florescent
dizzying
beads…


pop-pop-popping gravel
grade the undercarriage
whoa…shit!!!
i pull the wheel left
of instinct

my blood pumps
in my throat,
a boney hand
pressing my larynx
and jugular
bulging my eyeball veins
scratched by the sands
of sleep


as adrenaline fades
i turn on the a.c.
wipe my forehead
and blast the radio
and old Elvis song
zz…going to a party
at the county jail…zz

the rain subsides
to neon signs
flashing…pointing
toward a driveway
THE BRIMSTONE BAR AND GRILL
“every hour is happy hour”

parking lot’s empty
but i see a crowd
thru the window
a cowbell rings
as i open the door


“what’s your pleasure?”
asks a dark handsome bartender
“ah, coffee…hot and black”

“like your women” ha, ha

there are no tables
just booths
wound in a maze

i walk around a corner
a woman in red
touches my arm
sending a wave of chills
to my shoulders
settling in the roots
of my hair
“buy a lady a drink?”


“my name’s Samantha
i work for free choice
have you heard of us?”

“yea, you’re that pro-abortion
group that rallied at the Spectrum
last weekend”

“pro-women’s rights.
why are you here?”

“i pulled over for coffee”

“yeah, right,” she snickers


we walk past booth
after filthy booth,
an ammonia smell
mixes with ether and alcohol
like a hospital trauma ward
or nasty book stores in Jersey

in booth thirteen
a man’s kissing a man
while a gorgeous blonde
watches
and madly fingers herself

“who are those men
in booth thirty-one?
looks like they’re playing cards
poker, blackjack, or something”

“mostly doctors and lawyers”
she says with a wink
“they lust for money
and power vice sex”

four men take turns
with a redhead
on a table for two
filling each orifice
i cringe as she screams
mad, erotic curses

number nine’s a dilly…
a man’s getting a blowjob
while loading a syringe
when the woman finishes
he shoots her again


at last the bar
“ a drink for the lady”
i shout to the tender

“Samantha,” he yells
above the loud metal music
“the usual?”

“yeah, Stan, cocaine
and a Collins”

she pulls out a joint
pressing it to my fingers
“no thanks, i’m driving”

Stan stares at Samantha
they stare back at me
and laugh to hysterics
tears pour down
their quivering cheeks


i toss him a five
and push the door open
but i step in a cellar
and smell rotting flesh

men and women in bondage
are being sexually tortured
i see a young boy
emasculated and crying
“help me, mister
help me!”

i shove back thru the door
into the club

“Samantha
please tell me
how can i leave here?”

she presses against me
runs her hand up my thigh,
“you can’t get out, silly boy
why do you think
they call ‘em bars?”

from http://emotionography.net/
Jerry Browning©2009

05-20-2009 at 03:54:23 PM

Re: Re: Re: A poetry challenge

Quote:
Originally Posted by JadedJezzabel

Originally Posted by JLorian

Hell posted!!



i'm sorry i went to read your hell poem but could not find it long face


Site is a bit wonky today...had a little trouble getting it to take. Tis there now, though.

05-20-2009 at 03:54:29 PM

Re: Re: Re: A poetry challenge

Quote:
Originally Posted by JadedJezzabel

Originally Posted by JLorian

Hell posted!!



i'm sorry i went to read your hell poem but could not find it long face


Site is a bit wonky today...had a little trouble getting it to take. Tis there now, though.

05-20-2009 at 04:08:53 PM

Re: A poetry challenge

Ring the Bells of Hell- Look, if you can't listen.

05-20-2009 at 09:07:58 PM

Re: A poetry challenge

JadedJezzabel,

I loved your challange and I think you should do more.You gave a way for people to express what they were feeling good or bad with this thank you,

A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness. It finds the thought and the thought finds the words.

Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.