Edge of NoWhere

1 Comments

Tags:
  • Angst
    • ,
  • Nature
    • ,
  • Loss
    • ,
  • Confusion

    Poem Commentary

    Inspiration: Sometimes God deliberately places his children in a position to where I have no other choice but to trust Him. PS 9:10 Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you. 　

    Edge of NoWhere

    Edge of No where

    By Sali


    Torn between two worlds,

    Disorientated by pain,

    Lost in my own thoughts-

    Closing my heart

    With tears in my eyes is the

    Only way I can survive

    This silence that threatens

    My entire being cuz

    I can’t believe what

    I am seeing before my

    Very eyes! Surprised-that

    I’m not dead and gone

    When the one I loved

     Left me here all alone...

    Carrying my burdens

    Over my back

    And all that I am can't

    Make up for the fact

    Of all the things

    That I have lost.

    Costs me too much

    Trouble, pain, tears

    Followed by my worst

    Fears comin’ to life

    Right in front of me-

    See, I thought my life

    Would be betta than that.

    Now I’m asking, Lawd,

    Where You at when I

    Need You the most?

    Are You still here?

    Are You still there

    As I stand on the

    Edge of nowhere?

    Yet part of me is

    Still waiting for You to

    Get to where I am.

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    Zep commented on Edge of NoWhere

    07-03-2010

    There are a few things I'd like to comment on; 1st, in line one you say "Closing my heart", but as the poem continues you are looking for God to come to the rescue, but b/cause of the 1st line, it doesn't make much sense; imo... I'd change it to something 'with an open heart, I close my eyes,,, see it changes the story-line to one of searching for God, as your poem states. Also in the line: With the shoes on my back, I'd change 'shoes' to clothes... as it makes more sense. or Shoes on your feet, you'd travel all the pathways... etc. examples only. Lastly, when you refer to God as 'he/him', you need to capitalize to differentiate between your companion and our Lord. Otherwise, very nicely written, great imagery, sad/emotional piece. Gives the reader a sense of your walk. Thanks for sharing. These examples can't take away from a perfect score though. Just thought, as a novice, I'm mention them. God Bless... Always!!
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality.

    T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

    Sali’s Poems (140)

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