Close My Eyes in Defeat

1 Comments

Tags:
  • Anger
    • ,
  • Dark Poetry
    • mizunderstood82
    • things change, time rolls on by, and life is getting so much better... but my poetry stays tha same - more 2 come

    Close My Eyes in Defeat
    I'm in a war with my sin
    A war I wont win
    My outcome I cant see
    So I close my eyes in defeat
    I swear I reached for your hand
    My grip was too weak to hold
    And I've told them time and time again
    I want my story to be told
    I dont even know where I stand
    Too proud to admit that I'm weak
    So I close my eyes in defeat
    No more fights with what I cant see
    No more anger at the world at my feet
    No more tears for my heart to shed
    No more screaming inside my head
    No more lies slip by your lips
    and you cant hold me with that weak ass grip
    I wont stay just to keep you still
    This is my life and the pain I dont want to feel
    My anger rages inside
    Tears roll from my eyes
    The truth you refuse to see
    So I close my eyes in defeat

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    ccslim commented on Close My Eyes in Defeat

    09-25-2009

    A super write by content! Minor flaws in spelling and grammar. The latter in by using more than necessary words to describe. (My number one flaw). You tell me - No more lies slip by your lips, and you can't hold me with that weak ass grip? When you start with a statement keep pounding with it Sis! wOOt you the woman!
    Reply to Comment

    mizunderstood82

    10/17/2009

    thank you for your advice! that does sound much better. i wrote that one in less than 5 mins. it just pops in my head and i keep writing until the words fade away (inside my head). once again, thank you for the input! i like it...

    Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion.

    T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

    mizunderstood82’s Poems (12)

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    the pain inside, i cannot hide 0 03/24/2010
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    My Illusion 0 01/19/2010
    Close My Eyes in Defeat 1 09/15/2009
    My Inner Self 3 01/09/2009
    Swallowing Down 1 12/24/2008
    The Truth 0 12/24/2008
    your little lie 1 12/24/2008
    push or pull 0 12/24/2008
    i cannot save you! 0 12/24/2008
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