You wonder

In the silence  of the night when the children are put to bed, husbands, wives, lovers, boyfriends, girlfriends are occupied with their own concerns , the friends you thought you had are few and distant,  you find your self standing still in the quiet, and the overwhelming presence of  a silent  hurricane is making preparation to destroy.

You cry for the life you hoped for

 You agonize over the person you hoped would become

 You are tangled in some things that cannot release

  They capture you like a prisoner of war. 

You wonder if there’s someone to love you

You wonder if things will continue its drastic spiral into nowhere despite your constant effects to keep your spirit alive

You wonder if you should continue hoping for better

You wonder if you should deal with the day to day issues or just let everyone find they own way 

 You wonder if you will always have the face of nothingness at your door

You wonder if waking up is worth it, you wonder if sleep is essential

You wonder if success will ever find its way to your heart or is it waiting for your death that others may succeed

You wonder if God really cares about you even though you know he’s there

You wonder how much can the spirit of a man experience before darkness brings him to total annihilation

You wonder about the world beyond here if there is one because you continue to dwell in this one,

you want to replenish yourself but grief blows your cover

and you find yourself back to step one

You wonder if you can muster enough strength and guts again

or just lay wasted right where you are 

You wonder if destiny is a hype something people talk about

 when they want to bulldoze you in secret 

You wonder if God has ever considered giving you a break from your life,

 why does one have to eat the vomit of others on a continuous rotation?

You wonder if your pestiferous conditions internally has halts Gods blessing.

You wonder if you should be extirpating all together and start a new you.