Twins

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  • IEnvyYou
  • is posting series of poems...coming soon

Poem Commentary

this poem may have problems
just help me out on them
and help me corect it because this poem has
to be perfect

Twins

I remember when I was two

They were just babies

My twin brothers,

And this picture that mom took

That I have now,

And I look upon

And smile

 

Was that really you both?

 That I was holding

 

We come so fare since then

We were so close

Now we are so fare apart

 

I look back and I remember

That day which was the last day

You’re birthdays

 

You both got your own football

The five of use, mom, are little sis,

You both and me,

We went and we played

Pass the football

 

You Jamey kept saying I could play

Then it seemed you changed your mind

As for you Cody, you played alone

And was jealous that mom was playing

With Jamey

 

 

To me that part of the memory is a happy memory

But what came next was the sad part the part I will

Not forget

The part mom and me left

I was seven then I did not know

That I would not see you until

You were around sixteen

 

If I could go back I would change everything

Just to have us close

But now due to being apart

You’re lives are hard

And we are so fare apart

Is as if we don’t know one another

If I could change that I would

 

We would know each other

To how we known each other then

Nothing would matter

And you’re hearts would not be so

Confused about it all

 

You’re now back in moms and my life

Due to what I did not ask of

But a miracle prayer

But if I could take back the part

Were you went through,

Bad times with you’re father,

I would

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Indigogreen16 commented on Twins

07-02-2009

Very nicely written. Personal..........................warm.........................................

daniel081180 commented on Twins

07-01-2009

This is a very heart felt write. I do appreciate you sharing. The only think i can see that needs to be fixed is some of the words are spelled wrong. other than that this is a excellent heart felt work. Great job.

IEnvyYou

07/02/2009

thank you i appreciate ur comment thanks for the advice

Poetry is finer and more philosophical than history; for poetry expresses the universal, and history only the particular.

Aristotle (384 BC-322 BC) Greek philosopher.

IEnvyYou’s Poems (4)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Choices 3
Mary had a lamb 1
Twins 2
past and confront 0