something quite depressing

What do we call this
Where do we go from here
how can I describe this
When I don't know what's there
I just know its expanding
(A hole inside my heart)
And I feel it everyday
Some times the pain subsides
But it never really goes away
Often I feel like crying
When other days I just laugh
Wonder if they know Its fake
And how long will it last
Now this burning continues to grow and grow
I'm filled with so much emptiness
I fear I've lost my soul
Sometimes in the distance
I hear it call out to me
Trying to bring me home
But now that I am blind
All I can do is feel the pain
The pain of one forgotten
Left only with the shame
No one there to help
Just me to fend on my own
This all may sound depressing
Understand I'm just expressing
The thoughts bound against the narrow walls that now surround my brain
There's no more room for thinking
My thoughts are all scrambled up
I have no time for feelings
Because my emotions are all fucked up
And if you ask a question
I'm afraid I won't be there
My mind has seemed to wander
And I have no clue to where
This is all confusing
walking a mile in my shoes
See I have no direction
So its hard to manage what I do
I know just what I am saying
But I know its hard for you
No one understands me
I don't expect them to
I haven't quite explained it
But you see its hard to do
Once I find it,
Still waiting on a clue
I'll hope to be reminded
Exactly what I set out to do
Now the clock is ticking
Sadly I've run out of time
All hope is bound
And laced with silly little rhymes
So now that I've said it
Don't say I haven't said a word
I explained my dilemma
All jumbled up in words