Naked Soul

6 Comments

Tags:
  • Confusion
    • ,
  • Lost Love
    • ,
  • Sadness
    • ,
  • Life
    • ,
  • Emotional

    Poem Commentary

    Inspired by my endless search for true love...

    Naked Soul

    Running in its wretched winds lays my naked soul,
    I declare no one can ever control.

    I grow pain within my mind,
    I am lost in a sea of time.

    I wonder endlessly into the deadly stars,
    Outbound and forever casted by the horrid bars.

    Where, where, where, I declare,
    Where is the true soul I can wear?

    I look with much hast because my time is running near,
    I weep into the blinding moon,
    And I wonder who will care?

    Tearing through the songs of time to find the hidden soul,
    I will burst unpromptly through the gates of hell,
    And all this I would gladly bare,
    To find the hidden soul I will one day wear!

    This is my beethoven destiny,
    Written in the burning stars,
    I declare they will all burn eternally in passion,
    For once reunited all love will be ours.

    Where, where, where, I declare,
    Where is the naked soul I will one day wear???

    -------------------------------------------------------------------------

    I have learned nothing,
    But that my search is blinded and barred,
    By the barriers of a cruel society!!!

    Poem Comments

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    LadyLuck commented on Naked Soul

    10-21-2010

    "I weep into the blinding moon, /And I wonder who will care?" One thing we all have in common is we wonder who will care? Loved the read thanx for sharing your work
    Reply to Comment

    angel33614

    10/24/2010

    There is always those who care, sometimes we are just to deaf to hear them, food for thought. Learned this lesson many moons ago, but still holds true to this day. I think I wrote this one when I was 15 or 16. I was a very deep teenager, to say the least, LOL. Thank you so much for your kind review and comments, they are always greatly apperciated and welcome! Purity of the soul, journey well!!! with grace and humility ANGEL- POB for life! aka A blind man walking...

    JadedJezzabel commented on Naked Soul

    10-04-2010

    perfect ending to a great poem...............from a trye poetic soul
    Reply to Comment

    Rygar commented on Naked Soul

    09-26-2010

    I felt it's an honest declaration of a wonderer, the meter doesn't always have to make sense when the words hit the mark and create the desired effect. Nice write man. :-)
    Reply to Comment

    angel33614

    10/04/2010

    This one was not written for ryme or meter, just out of pure fustration and agnst, one of those that spills from the recesses of one's inner most mind, pure and raw in its natural form. I know many poets would have taken this poem an refined it, but sometimes when you refine something that is raw and pure it loses its essence and nature, I like to look back and see where I have been and the road I have traveled, this poem gives me this vision and for this reason alone I will leave it as is, pure and raw. Thanks again for the klind review and comments as they are always greatlt appreciated and always welcome! Purity of the soul, journey well!!! with grace and humility ANGEL aka A blind man walking

    Rygar

    10/04/2010

    I agree bro, sometimes it has remain raw in order to keep its power.

    EinStud commented on Naked Soul

    06-13-2010

    Well, the first line is a conundrum. Running and laying at the same time. So, there will be something to reveal this conundrum, I hope. ... I was wrong about that. It is not a conundrum. From the rhyming pattern, it is clear that you have chosen a poetic form. I did not look it up, but it is noticeable. Commentary: "Knowledge" is not the way to find your soul (I am speaking to the narrator in the poem, not the poet). When you first wake up, your mind is at the most "freest" ("free est"?) it will be in the physical world. As you wake up, your brain starts to process knowledge. So, the point in time you need to search for the soul is that point when knowledge is not so ever present. I keep a pen and paper handy, because in mid day, my pre knowledgeable thoughts are nonsense to me (and to everyone else), or I just forget what it was that I needed to remember. Mostly the latter. I do want to point out something for you (the poet) and anyone else who cares... It is important to know that the quality of your poem is not judged by one point of view, or the views of many. Each poem is judged individually to each audience member. My point of view in life does not come from me standing in pain, anger, hell, torture, and any thing like that. So of course I am not going to see what significance a naked soul will have to me, when I am from the view of trust, honesty, love, etc.. As a matter of fact, I might actually see the same poem as you, but think totally opposite of what you mean. And in poetry, there is no right or wrong. I see the physical world as a burden to the soul. Other's see the soul as a burden to life. Maybe that is what the difference is?
    Reply to Comment

    EinStud commented on Naked Soul

    06-13-2010

    I go for the short poems, and this one is about as short as I'm going to get on your list of poems. Short poems have less of an opportunity to guide the audience toward a destination. I live for the journey, unexplored, not the path so many have taken, which are led by the senses of the painter. So here goes my journey into your next poem, and my own senses will navigate...
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry is finer and more philosophical than history; for poetry expresses the universal, and history only the particular.

    Aristotle (384 BC-322 BC) Greek philosopher.

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