Previously struggled with the false reality
That I share no close bond with any
Taking one step forward, to take two steps backwards
Feeling good and close by each encounter
I feel maybe, just maybe
Someone cares to have me in their circle
Maybe, just maybe I do make a difference to others
I am hearing from them how great
Was our experience together
Now faced with that same old stumbling block
Someone dropping ‘information’
Just to steal my joy
Just ‘rushing in like a flood’
Saying “did you know”
“Well, don’t say anything”
Yes, I am good for ‘not saying anything’
I have watched others look at me strange,
They see me as different?
I just don’t know
But it hurts and it is because
 I received something from another person
I did not say anything, as asked
I held on to a false reality
Of others I want to be close to
That they do not want the reverse
Innocently, but foolishly, immediately
Falling blindly once again as the prey
But maybe, um just maybe
I can hold on to the promise
Remembering all the times I felt left out
Watching the person that fed me
The ‘do not say anything’
Grow closer to the ones I want
To be close to every time
It is as though they watch
Just to see when I feel close
Then I recall- isn’t this the person,
The same source of all the before times
Well maybe, just maybe this time
I will say something
Because it does not matter
Time for me to wake up
The times prior, now!
Feeling left out is an emotion
Being left out, I find is a blessing
Now, I am preparing for the next time
Just to say “that it is o.k.”
Because if you like me-good
If you don’t maybe, just maybe
One day you will awaken
Maybe, just maybe
You will realize that you should
And maybe, just maybe I will be there
This is my deliverance
This is my victory
I feel totally free and, really good
Maybe, just maybe
You can like me or not but always
To God Be the Glory

©leolioness
February 28, 2009