Four years ago,
January 16th, 2000 to be exact,
God and his son Jesus moved into my house.
They said they were looking to move in for a while now, but they were waiting for Satan to move out.
I gave Satan his eviction notice at once,
but he didn’t want to leave right away.
He tried hard to keep his place in my house,
But I just couldn’t allow him to stay.
He lived in my house for quite a long time.
Everyday he left it in a huge mess.
Every night he and his friends would throw parties.
He put the neighbors through so much stress.
He didn’t pay rent or any other bills.
The house had no power for years.
He’d always seem to slip out of paying anything
by ignoring me as if I weren’t even here.
Then God came along with his son one day,
looking for a new place to live.
The both of them thought that the house needed work,
but the price, they were more than willing to give.
So finally Satan packed one bag and moved out.
He left some of his possessions behind.
I cleaned out the house the best way that I could
and promised to get rid of anything else of his I could find.

Four years it has been since they had moved in.
God kept all of his promises just as he said.
Their neighbors enjoyed his presence in their town.
Every night they slept peacefully in bed.
I woke up one morning and found a note from God.
On one side it read “This is important”.
On the other side, he wrote a lot more.

This is what the note had said:
Thank you for allowing my son and I to stay
in your house for the past four years.
Unfortunately, there are a few things that are wrong,
and becoming difficult for us to live here.
The neighbors think that the house looks great.
They look once and say that its breath taking.
But Jesus came to me late at night
and told me that the foundation is breaking.
I worry sometimes about the plumbing.
Maybe everything isn’t screwed on very tight.
We cannot always drink water from your faucets
because there is obviously some impurities in your pipes.
I am definitely concerned about your furnace.
Something is wrong, whether you believe it or not.
No matter if it is winter, summer, spring or fall,
for some reason it is always hot.
The attic is full of Satan’s possessions.
He never came back to get what was his.
When are you going to get rid of them as you promised before?
My son and I still have things to move in.
And please do something about these walls.
Some of them have become cracked as they grew older.
It’s better to just change them entirely
than it is to just paint them over.
Don’t you remember that my son is a carpenter?
Did I tell you and you just missed it?
Whatever may be broken in your house,
believe me, Jesus can fix it.
I taught him everything that I know,
so I know that he will get the job done.
He knows almost as much as I know today.
But of course he would know. He’s my son.
I have not intention of moving out
and letting Satan move back in.
So if he tries to get this house back
he’ll discover that he’ll never love here again.
Now that you know these things that I wrote to you,
I hope that you will never leave them alone.
I firmly believe that you have what it takes
to make your house into our home.

May 1st, 2004