Til My Death

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  • Love

    Til My Death

    Til my death your in my heart
    You have been since they day I first saw you
    You were sitting across from me
     You looked so overwhelmed by darkness
    I wanted to tell you I would be your moon
    I could light the way through the nights
    I would love you for all time
    Til my death you would be in my heart
    We ended up together
    And the things I wanted came to pass
    I messed it up though
    I throw you away
    Taking all of you for granted is still my biggest mistake
    Now your the only one I love
      But I can't make you want to stay
    I am sorry I pushed you so far away
    Sometimes love means second chances
    Please give me the one I crave
    The one I will use to prove in everyway
    that I will do whatever it takes
    To show you I am the one you should be holding
    The one you should be home with at night
    I want you to see that you are the one I cherish in life
    I promise not to ask for to much
    Just be yourself
    Thats more then enough
    I am still here waiting in my ocean of silent tears
    Come back
     I will always love you
    Til my death do you part from my forever aching heart

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    Grommet commented on Til My Death

    06-07-2009

    Ok now that you have that off your chest lets make this into a poem. A lot of punctuation is needed, but I think starting over is better. Look to who is loved. limit it more and make bolder passes, Lonewolfs comment about "...many complexities.." is a kind way to say get over it, this is rambling and boring. This is your first draft, good writing is rewriting. Keep us posted.

    lonewolf commented on Til My Death

    05-18-2009

    you really understand loves many complexities. very good poem, but with punctuations it would be easier to follow.

    If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.

    Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) American poet.

    ADawn’s Poems (13)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    a heartless dease 1
    lost 1
    love is not easy 2
    Til My Death 2
    emptiness 2
    memories 1
    runaway 1
    agian a mother gone was she ever really one 1
    mind your own business 0
    a life after death 2
    you lied 2
    i feel so naked 1
    about love 1