Differently the Same

I can’t control my emotions

My body lies outside my deepest inner strengths

I turn to God and shed a tear

My forward motion keeps me within His realm

Crying for help when there’s nobody there

It’s the most dissatisfaction one can encounter in life.

The walls are slowly closing-in as my body pushes outward

Stop!  I imagine…

All of a sudden comes this overwhelming change

Not a boasting change, but a subtle change to the outsiders

Feelings of guilt, condemnation, and other unmentionable feelings—

Start to whirlwind around my heart, deep within.

I hold these in and smash them down for future use

It’s what I’ve been told, what I’ve learned & practiced all these years.

One day will come with a self-combustion as I vent

Yes, I will finally vent.  And sober too!

Past events of inebriation were never real

Those were just “the calm before the storm”.

Another person?  Maybe.

One man with two separate identities; as rightfully accused of

Now that’s a novel intension of perception.

Oh, what this universe has to offer to me will never be soon forgotten.

Derek Lavis

1/28/2006