about him

1 Comments

Tags:
  • Love

    Poem Commentary

    Well this is based on this cute guy I like but I know he doesnt like me that way. We are just friends

    about him

    What was it about him that I liked?
    Was it his smile?
    His laugh?
    Or the way he looked at me?

    I didnt know which one it was
    But one thing that was for certain
    Was that I liked him
    No matter what

    Bowling started and I saw him again
    But something changed
    something major
    So being myself i went up and asked

    It was the wrong thing to do
    Especially what I said
    "You are still single right?"
    He just laughed and said "No I am taken"

    It broke my heart inside
    I should have asked him sooner
    Maybe if I did
    I wouldnt be in ruins

     

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    JAlden commented on about him

    10-14-2009

    :( I liked this poem. Poetic, and understandable. Just the way poetry should be. You have a unique gift, my only advice to you is that you expand your treasury of words. You know how to use words well, but I sense that you need more of them. A good artist can paint with just black and white, but the very best will try to use all the glowing colors of the rainbow to paint a landscape beyond description. But, as a poet, you CAN describe it, and, more than that, make your readers FEEL it. I really like this poem, I've read a couple of your others and I think you possess the quintessential poetic gift of word sense. Again, I think you just need to color it a little. But thank you for posting, and keep writing! This is the kind of modern poetry I like: the stuff that you can understand.
    Reply to Comment

    When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

    John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) Thirty-fifth President of the USA

    jandh4ever’s Poems (19)

    Title Comments Submitted
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    why 1 06/12/2009
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    Spring Haiku 0 06/10/2009
    winter haiku 0 06/10/2009
    Champs 0 06/10/2009
    Who Am I 1 06/10/2009
    The mockingbird 0 06/10/2009
    Graduation 0 06/10/2009
    about him 1 06/21/2009
    change 1 06/10/2009
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