A Single Fortune Cookie

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A Single Fortune Cookie


There it lay,
In the tray.
At the end of my meal.
I did not know how it would make me feel.
Actually, I had not even given a thought to it, in my grieving,
That this would be something the waitress would be leaving:
A single fortune cookie.
Always before, in this restaurant, there had been two.
Two.  The most beautiful word in the language, now that I must rue
That I am back to being one--by myself--the recipient of this to view:
A single fortune cookie.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I had not seen one of these--
A single fortune cookie--anywhere, in over five years.
To see it now, so unexpectedly, stirred my prayerful pleas,
And started up my tears.
To see a single fortune cookie.  For more than five years, I have seen two.
Two fortune cookies, of pre-printed prediction--
Or of simply some little saying or piece of advice.
I always gave my companion, my precious friend, the first selection.
Then I opened the other cookie, to read its words--trite, witty, or wise--
I would look into my friend's clear, bright brown eyes,
And read him what it said.  Then he would read his slip of words to me;
Unless he had forgotten his reading glasses, and I had not brought an extra pair:
Then I would read those few lines to him, and we would smile.
Of course, we knew they weren't really fortunes; but they made us smile a while.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
But not today.  I have only one fortune cookie here today.  He has none.
It reminds me of the happiness we shared, good times, and lots of fun.
And also the problems and troubles that we faced together,
Leaning on each other, strengthening each other's weaknesses.
The heavy feet of time have pressed me to the earth; I feel so heavy-fated.
The blade of death has cut his short life's tether;
He has lost his bounty of blisses.
My words sing hoarse and hollow, unweighted--
Like a dead bird's fallen flying-feather.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I sat there in that restaurant, just staring at that single fortune cookie.
The longer I looked at it, the larger it became;
Till it encircled my heart in a sheet of flame.
In burning pain, I cried: "My precious friend Brian has died!"
The silence was thick as stone.  My ears then heard a strange, blood-chilling groan.
Where was it coming from?  I looked to see.  No one else there.  It came from me.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Then I thought I could hear that lone lonely little cookie speak to me,
Still wrapped up in its clear cellophane.
It said: "Your precious friend, your beloved Brian, is gone from you, for eternity;
And for the rest of your life, you're going to feel this pain."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Where are you, Brian?  Are you somehow, in some way, here?
We promised each other that the first of us to go would be the other's guardian angel.
If allowed to be.  So then, Brian, are you near?
Although your body, the temple of your spirit, is being shipped far from here.
Many States away from where I am.  I cannot visit your grave-site.
But your wonderful inner spirit that I found so dear--
So valuable!  So full of love of life and light!--
Is it possible your spirit is with me here?
I hope and pray that you did not just disappear.
I hope that you can be my guardian angel, or my helper, and be near. 
Or I hope you are in heaven; or that you will be raised to life again.
I myself feel that my losing you is like the early start of hell.
Is it possible that I could have committed so great a sin,
As to deserve this terrible loss and the sorrow that I'm in?
The lone and lonely fortune cookie whispers: You are as lone and lonely now as I.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Precious Brian is gone from me.  He is gone into eternity.
I pray God that I will see him when I die.
But for the rest of my life at least, I must feel this pain.
My solitary soul sees the symbol of my sorrow--
Still wrapped up in clear cellophane:
A single, solitary, lonely fortune cookie.


=======================

Written by Michael LP, aka MLP
aka PoetWithCancer, aka PWC, aka Mr. Poet
Written on Friday, January 21, 2011  6:50 pm
Copyright (C) 2011 by Michael L.P.  All rights reserved


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aw3haiku commented on A Single Fortune Cookie

02-17-2011

Very touching, Michael. My first poem I wrote was to a friend who died while we were in freshman year in college.It also wrestled with the fragility in understanding our temporalness, and the meaning and eventual shared purpose we find in company or in union one another. I, too, struggled with it for the first time with this sudden reality of loss of a portion of me, of my memory of experience who no longer was there. "silence was think as stone" that overwhelming sense of grief. Though, even it is temporary. Recurring it may, but eventually subsiding like ripples crossing a pond. Your poem is evidence and artifact of true friendship, and of true love; that neither Brian's life nor his memory will disappear nor were lived in vain. Yet, the process of letting go will happen in time, Michael. For this too shall pass. Perhaps you may unwrap that cellophane a little in your next poems, Michael, to let us see what fortune lies therein.

gmcookie commented on A Single Fortune Cookie

02-15-2011

Michael, I'm certain that Brian considered you to be a dear friend. Live in a way that would make him proud. I did write a poem once about what we leave behind: http://www.originalpoetry.com/death-does-not-equivocate You might get some comfort from it, my friend.

lunamarie commented on A Single Fortune Cookie

02-07-2011

... (tears) ........................................

Lunabella commented on A Single Fortune Cookie

01-26-2011

*hugs* he's in a better place, where there is no pain, just think of this and the happy times you had with him, and he will never truly be gone, because he lives on in your memories and in your heart. *hugs* It's an awesome poem sweetheart and i hope this helps you heal in someway.

abuelita1 commented on A Single Fortune Cookie

01-25-2011

Your poem is beautiful. I can sit here while reading it and see you going through everything these words have said. I fight back my own tears as I read this. I know how much Brian meant to you. I also know how much you meant to Brian. True friendship is always a treasure. Hold your memories close of Brian to your heart. Remember all the times with a glad hear, that he was put in your life. He blessed you as much as you blessed him. Although there will never be another Brian, know you are not alone. Many of your friends are grieving with you, although we cannot be there physically for you. You continue to be in our thoughts and prayers. Love you.....Super Angel

Poetry is not an expression of the party line. It's that time of night, lying in bed, thinking what you really think, making the private world public, that's what the poet does.

Allen Ginsberg (1926-1997) U.S. poet.

PoetWithCancer’s Poems (224)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Happy Winter Solstice 1
Seasonal Ring 1
My Thanksgiving 0
God's Word 1
Under the Date Tree 1
A Few More Times 1
Divine and Diabolical World 0
Summer-Brief 2
Seasonal Ring 0
Shakespeare's Birthday and Death 0
Special Brian 0
I Remember Brian 0
Light of Life 0
Pain Has Defeated Me Today 1
The Old, Old Words 0
Home Is Where the Heart Is 0
A Sad Contemplative Christmas Today 0
Moments of Memory; In Memory of Moments 0
Sun and Rain, Joy and Pain: I Miss My Friend Brian 0
Dehumanized and Clinicized--N
OT
1
Not Full 0
Love, Loss, and Lennon 0
Dying Dream 0
Brian's Pure Love for His Lady 0
Two Loved Ladies Undergoing Surgery Now 0
The Masks Fall Off at Midnight 1
Prime of Life 1
Low Energy and Less Time: And Too Many Things to Do 1
Happy Veterans Day, Brian 0
Happy Veterans Day, Brian 0
Thanksgiving 0
Autumn of Year; Autumn of Life 0
Brian's Birthday and New Year's Eve 0
Under a Constant Star (9/11) 0
Deep Time 0
Is There Anything Out There 2
Classics in the Closet 0
Nobody 0
Feeling the Wind 0
The Wild Doe and the Hunter 0
Happy Birthday, Brian 0
The End of the World: Saturday, May 21, 2011, 6 pm PDT 1
Brian's Special Smile 0
Broken Birth 0
Missing Brian 0
Focus: Today, Happy 0
I Love You, Brian 0
The Ways and the Words of You 1
Stone Cry 0
Amore Immortale 0
Reality and Unreality 1
Lyrical Life 1
Easter 0
Shakespeare's Birthday 0
Friends During Need 1
Death--A Play--or the Final Act 0
Moods 0
I Was Worried About You 0
Song of Life 2
Me 1
Oh Mother of My Life, My Mind, My Heart--Happy Birthday (Sunday, April 3, 2011) 0
Your Money or Your Life 1
Poesis 0
A Last Look at the Moon 0
Tears for Brian: My Tears Spring Suddenly 0
Seventeen in the Past 1
Clusters 1
Suffering and Dying Where Love Is Least 1
Looking at People in a Restaurant, Talking to Brian 1
Brian Cannot Come Back to Me 3
Seven for Heaven: Human Haiku/Senryu, On Two Straight Guys Who Loved Each Other 3
Five Human Haiku (Senryu): Faithful to the Perfect Form 0
The Scream 3
Life Is 8
Following My Friend 3
Small Moments (Written by Patricia, for Brian) 1
For Precious Michael (Written by Patricia, for me) 4
Dream of Life, Dream of Friendship, Dream of Love 4
The Power to Create 4
A Single Fortune Cookie 6
The Meaning of Life 2
Dreamless 3
Prayers 3
Lost Love 2
I Thank My Mother for My Birthday and for Her Wonderful Mother Love 3
Lennon Lost His Life: And Now, So Has Teena Marie 2
All the Way with Part Way 2
Loving, Living, and Dying 6
Dreaming and Seeming 3
Poem Prayer 2
Science, Poetry, Philosophy, and More 2
Super A, Abuelita1--Th
ank You for Your Support, Caring Love, and Understanding
2
Wonderful Connie 1
Someday-Dying 2
Between Yes and No 3
Love of Life 1
Zappa the Magnificent 1
In the Midst of Life 2
Only One Death 1
Real Illusion 1
The Unknown 1
My Apparently Known Possible Fates in This World 1
No More Me 2
Someone 2
Leaving Life 1
Precious Jade 2
Fear and Grief and Going: Unguilty of the Grave 1
Using and Losing Time 1
Loveless Life 2
Good Life, Good Grief 1
Dreamless 1
Ontology versus Oncology 1
Now Time 2
No Present, No Future: All Past 3
Hippocratic Hell 1
First Light 2
Almost At the Limit [--A Sonnet] 1
Death-Trap 0
Broken 1
Birthday Termination 1
Moments 1
First and Last Cry 1
Love 2
Final Fragility 1
End of the World 1
Tripping 1
Seasonal Ring 1
Gifts that Go and Still Stay 1
Sidney Says: Advice to Poets and All Writers 3
Enthusiasm: God Within 3
Send Me Your Good Will, or Pray For Me--Please 1
Feeling Each Other's Pain 1
Snow Man for a Low Man 0
Explanation of My Poem "As If the Last" 2
New Year, No Love 2
Poetic Form 0
Guilty Pleasures: Not Guilty 2
About Me 1
Live, Laugh, and Love 4
Nothing Special 2
Why a Writer Writes 2
To Sarah Y and Her Beloved Little Boy Who Cries Out: Again! 1
I and You: Unique and the Same 1
Where's the Compasssion in Our Health Care System? 0
Lonely Girl, I'm Feeling the Way You're Feeling: But We Can Both Make It Through 3
Health-Care Reform and Hell on Earth 3
Psyche 3
My Bucket List (For Now) 4
My Most SCARED Moments 2
Children of the Stars 2
Passing Life's Test 1
Why More Now? 1
Remembering My Grandma on Thanksgiving Eve 3
Another Thursday, Another Hammer 4
Thursday's Hammer 1
New Birthday 2
Let Love of Life Light Up the Psyche of Fawn 1
To Angel Eyes: The Wonders of Your Life 1
Regarding the Lack of Fall in Texas 2
Light for the Fight 2
All That I Have 3
Shine 2
As If the Last 2
Here Now 1
All in Time 2
The Exile 2
Incurable and Terminal 4
Tripping 2
One More Tomorrow 1
My Dash 4
One of Two Is Stronger 1
No More Romeo; No More Juliet 1
Friendship and Life 1
Snow and Life 3
Live Spelled Backwards 1
Sarah Y 2
To Fly 2
My Cry 1
Moment of Madness 2
Fall From a Great Height 1
A Memory 1
Less Life; No Loving 2
A Loser, True 2
Time Stop 1
Final Sleep 1
Entre Enfer 1
Flying Life 1
One Would Have Been Enough to Make Life Worth Living 5
Once 3
The Haiku Form 2
Bridge to a Comet--Your Visits and Comments to Me 4
Get Well Soon, Luna Marie 2
Winging It (a human haiku, or senryu) 3
Light Locomotive 2
Skite, Where Were You Today? Where Are You Tonight? 2
Angel's Wings, Angel's Voice 4
Shy, but Not Too Shy 2
High Coo 4
From Night to Night 3
Life's Journey's End--Cut Short by Cancer 4
Love, Light, Life, and Night 2
Fear and Courage 1
Death in Life 3
Unknown Final Fate 3
To Right a Poem 4
Crab-Like Concealed 4
Soon 2
All in the Mind 3
Ebony Shine 3
On My Nephew Naming His First-Born Son After Me 5
Love, Loss, and Lennon 3
Eqinox 4
Feeling My Heart 5
The Best Person I Ever Knew: My Best Friend--Brian 2
In Memoriam, George Difficult 3
Lovers 7
Art 5
Things to Do 4
Plane on Fire 3
Ameliorator 5
Thanksgiving 7
Worlds of Light 24
Failure's Fortress 13
Song of Life (Original Version) 13