As I pondered about you, I, life, love, death

I wonder,

With life being so fleeting, why do I long??? 

The way I long to be in the arms of my beloved at times. The urge to be united in bliss and in sorrow.

To not have to control the impulse to hold him close, to have him near.

To experience existence beside the man I am destined to love unconditionally.

To search for his voice, to look upon his face as he looks out into the world.

To joyfully share a meal with him by the sunlight that pours into the veranda.

To drink wine merrily in the evenings watching the shadows of
the moon dance across the floor.

Perhaps being apart tends to make me dream of him with more intensity, indulging my fantasies of a life by his side.

A life where I am his companion, his love, his admirer, his muse, his lucidity, his joy, his inspiration, his confidant, his mystery, his and his only, but yet not his at all…

Since my dedication and love comes without obligation, duty, or a written contract; rather my commitment comes from a deeper, a truer, and a far more genuine place.

 It originates at the heart, not the mind. My commitment is soulful, spiritual and its beauty poignant and never forced, never fake.

It derives from my being where I have known him all along, through the ages, through many lives, through time and space; and although I may not be able recite it to the world in layman terms; I intuitively feel its truth, its power.

And love frightens me although the drive to be as one with him is primary and impossible to reason with...