I sit here and look at the screen and all I feel like doing right now is hiding in the corner to scream...Write from the heart they always say but right now don't know where to start...My life has been turned upside down once again...Is it ever gonna end...On the day of all days he picks my birthday to say this is the end...I know in my heart he is the one I am meant to be with but I can't figure out why and how this happened...Becuase of one missed weekend he said he was done....Becuase I let my kids get in the way he his gonna go astray...I just don't understand how he could do this...He always puts his kids first but if I try to do the same then it's my fault because I didn't tell them no becuase I didn't make them go...It makes me wonder would he have done the same if the situation was reversed...I just don't know what to think..I don't know what to feel...Right now my mind, body, soul and heart are so numb that I can't...Is that so wrong?...They say everything happens for a reason but what reason did God show me this happiness only to rip away....Why can't he see what I am going thru...He once put up a post that said that seeing his kids smile is worth more then any things else in the world but to see them hurting was the hardest...so why can't he seem to understand what I am going thru...That I feel the same way with mine....My kids have been hurt just as much as I have..Yes I want more then anything in the world to finally have that happiness I want and deservere but how do I do that...I just don't know to do that....God please give me a sign or show me the way...how do I get that happiness and make it stay.