Welcome to Mr. Smith’s House of No Sense
Where your mind will be blown for just 75 cents.
A crowd gathers 'round the fence, yelling rave reviews
So you step into line, you’ve got nothing to lose.
Only one at a time is allowed through the door
And they always come back, screaming for more.
So you shuffle one foot in front of the other
And clench the three quarters you got from your mother.
Then finally; your turn to check out the mystery
After the longest, most talked about build-up in history.

You give the man your money and he gives the door a fling
And you try to look around, but you can’t see a thing.
You step into the dark room, and sniff the air,
For a traceable scent, but there isn’t one there.
So you clumsily feel for a path to follow,
But there’s nothing to grab, the whole room is hollow.
And just when you think you’re lost and here to stay
You hear a whisper of a voice say, “Exit this way.”
You step through a curtain and wind up outside
And Mr. Smith tells you, “That’s the end of the ride.”

“But there was nothing to see, hear, touch, or do
In fact, I should be asking for money from you.
I want a refund,” you demand with pride.
“That place doesn’t even have a light inside.”
Mr. Smith just laughs and says, “That’s how it is.”
And points to a sign that reads: No Refunds Kids

“But, I’ll tell you what,” he says. “I know how you feel.
And since I really like you, I’ll make you a deal
Go convince 5 more kids that you had a great time
And for every one of them I’ll give you back a dime”

Now, his house was no fun and you don’t want to lie
And you certainly don’t want to help out this guy
But, instead of leaving with nothing you walk back to the fence
And encourage everyone waiting at Mr. Smith’s House of No Sense.