I sit and hark back to all the good times we shared

I flip the pages of the old notebooks I wrote in…

And examine the pages that say Oct. 2006 the others that say Aug 2008

And more that say Feb 2009…and I can’t do anything more than shed tears….

Cry to myself …and I do nothing more than undergo remorse for the one I call myself

I become conscious to the pattern we seem to pursue…one minute we’re happy and in love

Next minute we give the impression of hate towards one another…because deep down inside

I thought it was you that I desired.

You see all the time that I spent with you; I fell in love with the fact that I had some one…Not with the person I was with…

I fell in love with the fact I could say I was taken…but I never loved the one that claimed me…

But I can’t lie…I did love you…for the first seven months that is…but your infidelities and your abuse brought my heart into another place…

A place I’ll never forget and forgive you for...

 Before I depart I need these questions answered….

How did you fall in out of love with me so quickly…one minute you loved me next you didn’t… why is that?

Was I not good enough for you? I cooked, cleaned, catered, and everything a great partner does… was that just not enough for you?

Why did you hurt me so bad….physically and mentally….did the screams and tears mean nothing to you?

Do you have a heart to even answer me honestly?

But I do want to thank you…thank you for the heads up….

Now I know what the wrong man is like….I will never permit myself to get hurt like that ever again!

When karma gets back to you….remember me! Remember all the pain tears and heartache you put me through! Remember the hate and rage I had in my heart for you!

Then picture me with the man that you couldn’t be…