living in pain

3 Comments

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  • Sorrow
    • AmorCyan
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    living in pain

    She said she"s better off dead than alive.

    Because she is goes through so much pain to survive.

    Medicine drippin in her veins.

    Living is but a small happiness she's drained.

     Do you want me to live and suffer, or die in pease.

    Cuz everyday this nightmare seems to increase.

    Look at me machines depict my wealth

    Waiting for a flatline considering my health.

    Limited diet, considering my state im nauseated.

    Listening to the voices of of loved ones and related.

    But...

     Trying  to reason with negative,

    Cuz at the moment it sounds right.

    Mental state  is gone pain derailes positive,

     as if to fly like a unheld kite..

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    Rendida commented on living in pain

    08-07-2009

    It sounds like someone wishing for death for all the pain they are in and you captured it perfectly in your words. good write

    AmorCyan

    08/07/2009

    thank you , when i write i try to recreate the feelings and emotions of people.

    cmlestrade commented on living in pain

    08-07-2009

    Amor Cyan, even though you found no words to explain your greatness, your writing speaks for itself. You painted a vivid picture of how hard it is to suffer in pain and hope for death just to end it all. very intense and frought with subtle emotion. One typo or mispelling detracts a little. as well as change in verb tense in line 2 (Pease instead of peace.) and because she is goes through, correct tense is going through. otherwise a very good submission

    AmorCyan

    08/07/2009

    thank you for your comment. after i read the poem over i noticed the typos and errors lol!,but I think i'll read over stuff before its posted. an im glad you noticed the detail of true feelings and emotions i tried to capture.

    If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.

    Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) American poet.

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