I'm flooded with emotions that I can't quite name.
I really never thought that I'd hear from you again.


You were a part of my life that happened so long ago.
But you hold answers to things that I feel I need to know.


I have memories, some of them hard to bear.
And the scars from my childhood are something I will always wear.


But in growing and learning, I find that forgiveness heals.
And being whole is something that I have longed to feel.


So, I truly forgive you, from the very depths of who I am.
I'm reaching for you; won't you reach out and take my hand?


You could never have known what it was like for us girls.
Being little and at the mercy of someone who dominated our world.


I remember harsh words, and welts, angry and red,
Of shaking at night, pulling the covers up over my head.


I just want to let it all go, and this is the way to get there I believe.
There have been too many years pass for me to still have to grieve.


You sobbed, and you wept and you begged me to understand.
You told me that you loved me, even as you again raised your hand.


Youth is no excuse to be ugly to those you profess to care for.
At some point, you have to believe that they truly deserve there to be no more.


No more hurting, no more bruises and pain
No more angry words as you learn who I am again.


And so, I say again, I forgive you for hurting me.
And that you were young and naive is something I have to believe.


Many nights I have awakened with angry visions of you fresh.
With the sting of fresh welts sharp on my flesh.


But I'm done with all that, because I don't need it anymore.
Living in the past is not what my life was designed for.


I can love you in my own way, and forgive you with my whole heart.
And at last let my memories stop clawing my soul apart.

Timber Ann
03-09-08