Innocence Lost
By Robert C. Ells Jr.

When I was young, things were different
The world was full of mystery and wonder
My innocence kept my eyes closed to the hurt
But one day things changed, as they always do
My eyes were opened, the scene was frightening

This is what it means to become an adult
Someone told me this day was coming
But I had no idea it would happen this quickly
The world around me was changing, so was I
I could see the hurt and feel the pain I was scared

I turned to run to my mother but she was gone
My father was gone too I was left all alone
I screamed at God, “Why have you done this to me?”
But I got no answer, I was greeted with silence
A silence that has followed me ever since

I tried to make friends but I was laughed at
Again and again I found myself alone and scared
I was beaten and ridiculed by the other children
My search for peace always ended in vain
Again I screamed at God, “Why is it always this way?”

But the silence continued, it was deafening
I was trapped within the prison of my mind
A room with no windows to look out from
Only heavy iron bars and concrete walls
The hallways outside stretched on forever

As I grew up I tried to find peace in drugs
This just made things so much worse for me
I lost jobs, friends, places to live, everything
But despite the loss I kept on using drugs
The cells and the bars became real, too real

Then God looked down on me, and he hit me
He hit me so hard with the cancer stick
I thought he did it to punish me for my sins
The pain was unbearable, the chemo was hell
I asked God “Why?” “To save you my son.”