Icharus

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  • Allegory

    Icharus

    Icharus
    Phread, 2003

    I know this road well.
    I've walked at least 100,000 words
    in the last fifteen months,
    and swore I could walk no more,

    But I’ve learned that
    all my roads were spirals,
    and it seems they led down,
    not up, as I’d hoped…

    So I attempted to return
    without retracing my steps…
    I wondered if I could bear it,
    I knew I could not bear it,
    But I will, I said… and I did…

    I tried valiantly
    to rebuild my swamped life
    knowing that I might wash away
    if one more river flowed through me...

    I got lost in my darkness
    I forgot, and I stumbled…
    and rammed full tilt
    against walls in the dark…

    Yet, always, in any
    glimmer of hope
    I looked for answers to live
    where there were only questions...

    I tried to find coherent directions
    to find a direction I could trust
    in a place I could not see…
    and followed my heart…

    If I could not follow my own music
    I wanted to make new music…
    When I could not find words,
    I tried to make new words…

    I wanted to dance again
    in a new direction...
    So, I choose, this time,
    the harder road, the road less traveled…

    And I choose it knowing the cost…
    I choose it knowing there will be a day,
    maybe there will be many days,
    when I will crash and lose my wings…

    When I lie in bed sobbing
    until I have to vomit,
    Sobbing from the pain
    Of losses too hard to bare…

    I will grieve from the pain
    of my new wings melting,
    and my new dreams dying
    from flying too close to the sun...

    But I will build stronger wings,
    as I sob and puke and ache…
    because I know I will one day
    rise again to fly closer still…
    ===

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    If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.

    Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) American poet.

    Phread’s Poems (8)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
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    What Do I Want? 4
    On Wings of Green 2
    Old Photos 1
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